Setting Me On Fire

19

L Word

Two days later from the last time I saw Alexander, I agreed to go to McDonald's with him, at midnight. I couldn't sleep, and somehow, he had gotten my phone number and texted me that he was downstairs.

It was such a New York moment for me. Besides that it made me feel good from within.

Alexander stares at me now, as we sit at a table near the door. So every time it opened the cold air crept in and crawled up my arm. I sip from my coffee and looked out the window over his shoulder as a homeless man walked by with a cart full of empty cans and bottles.

My gaze returns to Alexander, who's still staring me down. He looks down at his coffee, and then back up, then back down. Was there something he wanted to say to me? I didn't question his appearance at my building until now. But that was because I couldn't sleep and I didn't mind getting some fresh air.

I look down, and then back at him, not sure what to do. I took him in, his messy curly hair, and his blue eyes seemed bluer with his pale complexion due to the cold. Which made his gaze more effective.

He looks up, and I felt my heart do a summersault.

He clears his throat and finally speaks. "I couldn't sleep."

I nod. "Me neither," I say as I glance down at my coffee before locking eye contact.

"Why not?" I lift an eyebrow.

"You tell me first."

He licks his lips, "I was thinking about the first time I saw you, and how you said I don't know you, and now I know you've had been right."

I let a comfortable silence sit between us I soak in the certitude that he remembers what I said that day. Only because Liam barely recalled the things I told him, even if they were small meaningless things. But, I always perceived how remiss I was about it. Ever since I met Alexander, the door that stood between the feelings I steered clear of and me, had unlocked.

"No, I wasn't," I say now. He tilts his head in confusion. "You were right, about me being monotonous."

He nods, understanding.

"What's it like to be reattached back to earth?"

"Dizzying and Annoyingly bemusing." He casts me a furrowed expression. I shake my head. "Nothing, I th—"

"Hey," he says. He pushes his coffee to the side and takes my hand in his, I let him. "I'm not judging you, I guess I'm just wondering if you've seen life in a different light after the past few months that passed."

I look down at our hands in thought. Sitting there was enough proof that something changed, something in me had shifted. Alexander was the reason why I've changed, even if it was a small change. I look up at him, "I do," I say. "Because of you."

Alexander breaks into his first smile that night, I return the smile. We sit there, hand in hand, my eye locked with his eye. The chemistry we had was hard to kill, but I think I'll be fine as long as he's by my side.

Even if I was burning to be touched by him, or touch him myself.

I slip my hand out of his grasp, and brush my hair back, putting my hand on my lap. He gives me a small smile as he gets the message and puts his hand back on his coffee.

Two girls walk by staring at me, sharing a whisper or two, before they leave giggling into the night.

Would it make me sound like a hypocrite if I say that I didn't like how they stared at him? To tell them he was mine?