Psycho: Vinnie Hacker

Chapter 6: Lose..

Vinnies pov
"Okay okay enough sad shit." I said while wiping my eyes.
"After this crying sesh I think we deserve some snacks." I said.
"Ice cream?" She suggested
I nodded.
"Indeed."
We walked down to the cafeteria together and got a tub of ice cream.
We sat down at one of the tables.
"You know I never thought you were the type to cry and let your feelings out." Said Harper
"Yeah well you're the only person I've done that with." I said while picking at my ice cream.
"Awww i took your crying slash tell your feelings virginity." She teased
"Haha yup you popped my cherry." I said
"Speaking of cherries, I could use some right about now." Said Harper
"Harper?" I turned around and it was one of the nurses.
"Hey Martha." She said
"Honey it's almost 9 you know you have to be in your room at this time." She said
"Sorry I got caught up."
"Vin you should be in your room too."
"Yes ma'am I know."
"Come on let's get you two back." She escorted us back to our room.
She dropped me off first. I stayed on the 6 floor where all the guys were.
"I'll see you tomorrow." She said.
I smiled.
"See you tomorrow harp809." I teased
"See you tomorrow loser."
I closed my door and I plopped down on my bed. I couldn't stop smiling. I looked like a complete idiot but I didn't care.
This girl had something over me, I didn't know what yet but she made me feel safe.
Harpers pov
Martha and I walked back to my room and I was smiling like a dork.
"I see that smile. Is it because of mr vinnie."
I nodded.
"Yeah I don't know he's just so cool and special in a good way. I've had a crush on him since he's been here but he hasn't noticed me until now." I said
"Honey he noticed you trust me."
"What do you mean?"
"He would ask about you all the time. When you first got here he asked me who is that? What's her name? Everyday since then he's nonstop asks about you."
That made me smile even more.
"He told me his story today. He said I was the first one he's ever told."
"Yeah he's never told anyone not even me. He's a special kid, he's like an onion you gotta peel him back one layer at a time."
We finally got to my room and I said my goodbyes to Martha.
Next day
Today was group day so as soon as I woke up I headed down to the convention center.
I walked in and Cody was already there.
I sat with him as usual.
"So how did it go with vin yesterday?"
"It went good."
"Hey." I heard someone say.
I looked back and it was him.
"I'm gonna sit next to you today. I don't wanna look like a loser." He said
I smiled. "Cool."
"Today we will be talking about lose. Specifically on how lose affected each and every one of your lives. You don't have to go into detail but I do want you all to be genuine and honest." Said our group leader.
"Now who wants to go first."
"I do." Cody raised his hand and went up to the podium.
"I'm Cody, hello everyone."
"Hi Cody"
"So when I was 12 years old my mom died from suicide. She hung herself outside on our backyard tree, and I later found out that she suffered from depression and bipolar disorder which is what I have been diagnosed with. I never understood what that was until coming here for help, I just assumed I was crazy or something, but losing my mom really helped me see what something like that can do to someone. I guess you can say her death kinda motivated me into getting help and coming here because I don't want to die, I want to live."
"Thank you all."
"Now see things like that can affect us in many different ways. Cody for example his situation affected him positively, because he came here to get help for his illness."
"Would anyone else like to share?"
"Me." I said
I stood up there and I could feel my palms start to sweat. I wasn't good at public speaking but I wanted to get this off my chest.
"So as you all know I'm here because I suffer from depression and other things like ptsd. Lose has affected my life because I blame myself for what happened to my parents. I put a lot of guilt on myself and everyday I have nightmares about that day. I've been here for years now and I still can't understand why I carry so much guilt with me."
I started to cry. I couldn't say anymore.
"Excuse me." I ran out of the room and I sat in the hallway crying.
Vinnies pov
I followed Harper when she ran out of the room and I sat down with her.
"Are you okay?" I asked
"I'll be fine. I just had a moment."
"I don't know how you do it. How do you not break down or even show any emotion." She said
"Who says I don't? When I'm alone is when it's worse for me. I cry all night and sometimes I just want to scream and throw things but I can't. I keep that all inside and that's why I am how I am. I'm just a fucked up person."
"You're an amazing girl Harper and if you don't feel comfortable sharing your story with others then don't. You don't have to feel obligated too. You can always talk to me if you need to get anything off your chest. I promise you I will do my best to help."
She smiled.
"Thanks loser."
"Come on I'll take you to your room."
I walked her back to her room and she sat down on her bed.
"Alright Well I'm going to head out. I'll see you around."
"Wait." She said
"Come here."
I walked closer to her and she grabbed me by my shirt and kissed me.
We made out for about 1 minute before I pulled away.
"Uh I'm sorry. Shit um I gotta go." I left and I just went back to my room.
I didn't want this... not now.