A Life Sentence

November 11th, 2026

November 11th, 2026

It's been a little over a week since Kate died. It's funny, other than stating the obvious I can't think of what else to write. To be honest I didn't even know that much time had passed since I said goodbye to her. Lucas told me when he reminded me that I had not eaten in days. I wasn't even hungry. To me time felt like, well like it didn't exist.

I don't notice the sun coming up or going down anymore. I barely notice when Chonk visits. I think he literally tried to drag me out of bed once. I know that I should care that I have not eaten or even left my room in days, but to be honest I just don't care.

I mean what's the point really, in all of it? Why fight to stay alive when nearly everyone on the planet is almost gone. Oh I am sure that someone may come along later, even if the odds are slim whoever that is won't try to kill us and take what we have.

All I can think about now is Elena and Kate. I just want to see them, either one, just one more time. If it was Elena I would hold her in my arms and apologize for not protecting her and keeping her safe, or maybe just to feel her body against mine.

To Kate I would say all the things that I have going over in my mind since she died. I know there would have been no way I could save her, in this blasted world a cancer diagnosis is no different than the Black Death back in the day, a near guaranteed death sentence. Still though, the time we could have had together may have been great. Or maybe it would have been a total disaster. That's torture of it, I will never know.

When I am not thinking about Elena and Kate I am wondering what's the point in all of this? None of it is ever going to change, ever. This is how things are and how things will be until the end of time, or at least the end of my life. The best I have to hope for is a life of just existing. What is there to even look forward to? All of my best years are behind me and at an early age. There will likely be no wife, no kids, just work. That is all I have now, work that is occasionally broken up by brief periods of diversion, not even really fun.

After thinking about some of the things that I have done over the past few months I am forced to wonder if I even have any right to be happy. I have done terrible things in the name of survival. Lucas or Kate would have said that we did what we did in order to stay safe. Some of those things I am starting to wonder if really were necessary. Maybe deep down I am no different than those parasites out there that would take everything we have if given the chance. The only difference is that I was successful.

Maybe I just do need to get something to eat. I do feel a little weak. Maybe I just need a meal and a couple of days to think things over.

Just one more chapter remains. I appreciate all the support I have gotten. Please vote and follow!