HAZEL FINE SINGS ALONG (WATTYS 2022 Winner!)

Chapter 23: If I Could Write

"Okay, Hazel," Nick said, sitting at the piano in their rehearsal room the next day. "What do you want to write about?"

They were alone. Kate was supposed to join them later, but for now, it was just the two of them.

"Can't I do one of your songs? What about the one I heard you singing a couple of weeks ago? That was beautiful."

"No. If we're going to say it's an original song, it has to be new and original to you. Otherwise, it's just a cover of a song no one's ever heard."

"I'm not feeling that inspired these days."

"This was your idea..."

"Well, Kate's actually." Hazel sat down at the conference room table. Maybe it was the setting that was problematic. The beige and pink wallpaper wasn't particularly inspiring. It was funny how quickly you could get used to luxury, even when you'd been living in your car.

Nick considered her. "When you wrote in the past, what did you write about?"

"Depended. It felt like the words just came to me most of the time. Not divine intervention, but like my subconscious was working on stuff without me thinking about it"

"Sure, I get it. Those kinds of songs can be great. But if you want to be a real songwriter, then you need to be able to write even when you're not feeling it."

"Like a job?"

"It is a job." Nick started playing a chord progression in half tones on an off beat.

"That's pretty."

"Anything coming to you?"

"Keep playing." Nick repeated the chords a few more times, but it was no use. "What were you thinking about when you wrote that?"

Nick dropped his hands from the keys. "You can't use my life to inspire your songs. You have to dig into your own stuff. Get real with yourself, even if you code it in the lyrics."

Hazel understood what he was saying. Be honest. Which felt like what Benji was always saying to her too.

Despite the evidence to the contrary, Hazel didn't think she was a dishonest person before the Sing Along. It was because she was honest that she'd suffered the way she had. And now, the only lie she'd told was about her age, which people lied about all the time. Well, and about her background. And okay, her parents being dead. And that whole story she'd told Zoey about ballet and theater and whatever other nonsense she'd spouted. And fake dating Benji ...

So she was. She was a liar. Was that her defining characteristic now?

"Okay, I get it. It's just been a minute since I've written anything."

"Why don't you play me the last thing you wrote? Maybe it's a starting point."

Hazel agreed and went to get her guitar out of its case, thinking about the last song she'd written, almost a year ago. When she'd first come to LA, Hazel was writing a lot. She'd had a lot to process. But then the mundane aspects of her life had taken over and she felt the creativity flowing out of her. Writing songs was like that. The muscle could get rusty, and eventually waste away.

She sat on a chair and played a few chords to make sure her guitar was in tune. "This is called 'Fresh Start'."

She strummed the opening chords, feeling nervous. She'd sung in front of Nick a bunch of times, and in front of millions of people last week on the live show. But this felt different. Intimate. She was exposing herself.

New day, fresh start,

too many scars on my heart.

New day, fresh start,