Reviews and recommendation

The Last Philosopher🤌🏻

By NickfEast 

It honestly took me a while to review this book.

Because... well... What the fuck?

(yes, I said fuck, Wattpad. Go cry about it.)

This book is crazy.

Starting with the POV of a black hole named Dick (short for Richard), it continues following the story of Lyeasrakardsul, one of the last sorcerer/philosopher in the planet of Huom, who had a vision of Darkness swallowing the universe.

I might have simplified it.

POSITIVE NOTES

1. Originality

Do I have to explain myself? Look at the story.

2. Narrative

This is one of the few, rare, times I've witnessed an actual narrator, not just a writer.

The author here not only measure perfectly the balance between short-long sentences, paragraph, length of the words, as a good writer normally does, but also succeed in keeping the mood light, alternating the darkness with lighter comic moments without clashing the story's mood. Perfect.

3. Symbolism

Honestly couldn't find a better word. Might edit it.

The point is: the images here are strong.

This might be the first time where putting actual photos into the story would ruin it. The black hole at the center of the universe, the old sorcerer waking up in his tower, the frozen wilds of Empris... all of them have such a strong visual that the reader stand impressed, seeing exactly what the author meant.

NEUTRAL NOTES

1. Names

Why, for the sake of God, is your protagonist named Lyeasrakardsul?

Because he choose the name as a young idiot, which makes total sense.

I've put it in the "neutral" because in the exact moment I thought that you acknowledged the problem and gave an explanation. Talking about foresight.

Still, I had to nominate it because justified or not, it's annoying not to be able to pronounce the protagonist name. I mean, you named the black hole Richard and decided to name the protagonist Lyeasrakardsul?

Gotta love your sense of humor, though. ;)

NEGATIVE NOTES
I'll be honest.

I struggled quite a lot to find notes here.

I couldn't just post the review without advices for the writer, it wouldn't have been fair.

But in front of your narrative capabilities, what were I supposed to say?

Here what I could think of:

1. Simplify it.

I know. Sorry.

Your story is magic just because of the originality of the context.

Still, you worldbuilding is so complicated I got an headache trying to figure it out. I might be dumb.

Still, this is the kind of mistake that Tolkien made. 

Even if he were on the greatest writers of his generation, it took three colossal movies to get people to actually read the books, because there were so many rules, societies, names, places that a newbie reader just felt like crying.

My advice is:

Make more things happens in the beginning that shows the rules. Or use dialogues. Because mixing the place's rules with the old man's thoughts, mixing those with the old man's background and the geography of the place... is too much to handle.

2. Edit

There are a few mistakes there and then in the script. Not many, barely noticeable to a less attentive eye, but maybe try getting a friend to point them out.

IN GENERAL:

Author, you have my respect. For real.

Readers: get yourself a free night, a cup of tea, a computer and read it.

You won't be able to enjoy it to the fullest otherwise.

But reading it with the right condition is a night to remember ;)