Story editor here, reading and reviewing stories because this is honestly my natural environment :)
As such, I don't use a voting system!
Check out the first two chapters for more details.
Have fun!
cover by @lightmage1
The Goddess of Darkness, daughter of two divine entities that despise each other, never got to know love. Haunted by Zeus and Hades, she escapes to earth where she meets a human so beautiful, he might be mistaken for a God. Desperately in love, what will the goddess do?
Good points:
1. Strong images.
Both metaphorically speaking (writing) and, well, physically. I'll include a photo do better explain myself.
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I won't complain about this author not using the photo function. Ever.
She knows her way.
2. Strong characters.
Not much in the writing-description or whatever, they seems to be quite simple for the moment. But they're charming.
Whatever is your sexuality, you will be seduced.
3. Effort.
Never had I ever seen an author taking the time to actually put togheter a TRAILER for her story. What in the name of hell. But... cool. Really cool. Unexpected, but you really are putting effort in it.
Neutral points:
1. Incipit.
Just write. Take a breath and write. Images, specially in the incipit, are more than welcome. But for god's sake, having to scroll FOUR chapter to actually get to the story is a bit annoying and may discourage people from reading. Your first chapters will always be the most viewed. Invest on it!
Bad points:
1. Research.
Sorry, I'm guessing you're somewhat young. But when writing about deity, you either research a couple of religions from around the world and create a new one taking bites and bits by different places or you base your characters on actual gods, researching the single deity.
Calling a character "Zeus" and inserting a Thor's video (I know, I know, they're both gods of thunder. But they are very, very different.) give a feeling of poor cure, which I see you don't deserve.
2. Have faith in yourself.
An entire chapter of emoji. A poem. A trailer. Character's descriptions. They all seems like you're trying to postpone the moment you're actually going to start the story. As a reader, though, too many photos, video, emoji etcera give a "unprofessional" taste. As if you're imposing me what to think, rather than describing the action.
GENERAL ADVICE
Try reading "Medea" by Madeline Miller.
Yep, that Madeline Miller.
Medea is the daughter of Elios. Therefore, the first few chapters (telling her childhood) are beautifully written and reminds me a lot of your main character.
Give a second view to the incipit. All the extra material will make a perfect "author's note" but the incipit need to be written. The fight between the gods is okay, but make it longer and change the videos.
