Wren

Chapter eleven: My student?!

Wednesday came on like the flu, quick, relentless, here to make me suffer for its duration.

"Feeling apprehensive" Cam asked as we walked side by side to the psychology building.

"I feel a little sick" I reveal honestly. "What if she's really mad"

"What if she's not" Cam suggests positively. "What if she's just happy to see you"

I laugh nervously "I'm not that naive to think she will be happy ... I feel like I'm swinging between furious and I never want to see your face again.... get out of my class"

"She can't kick you out of the class so don't worry about it" Cam reminds me.

"Maybe not but she could help mark me down and have my psychology days become a living hell"

"She doesn't strike me as the type to be that cruel.., her mother perhaps"

"God her mother... imagine if she found out" I say hands covering my eyes momentarily as I down spiral into negative thoughts.

"Pretty sure Millie would rather shrivel up and die then have her mom know she almost slept with a student"

"True...I wish we had slept together, then at least this anxiety would be worth it, we would have got something out of it... instead we are going to be ridiculously anxious... for nothing but a kiss and a quick fumble"

As we walk into the lecture hall, my hesitancy in getting here, I realise, was a mistake, because our usual seats in the back row are full, as is the next five rows. I gulp, and nervously eye Cam whose eyes widen at the only seats left, the first row.

Holy worst day of my life ... what is this... what fresh hell is this scenario right here. I try and back up but Cam places his hand on the small of my back and guides me onward "let's just rip off the band aid" he whispers as he ushers me into the seats, pulling me down into the seat beside him.

I look down to my feet, my sneakers are pressed against the teaching podium, I was quite literally sat directly in front of it. Millie couldn't miss me, I would be practically sat in her lap, placed underneath where she would be stood, above me. I mean someone hand her a scythe right now and "off with her head" be my fate, because this all suddenly felt medieval torture vibes.

"Stop panicking" Cam whispers into my ear, placing his hand on my knee "she should be the nervous one... not you. She's the teacher... I think you may need to make her feel better about it, not the other way round"

He was right, I shouldn't be panicking, because if I did, she might, and perhaps if I acted like this was absolutely nothing and completely relaxed, like it was nothing, meant nothing, was completely normal and not out of the ordinary, then I could talk not only myself into calming down but keep her from being mad too.

Yes I would ignore her, so she didn't feel confronted at all, I would act like I didn't even recognise her. Shit, that sounds a terrible idea, but it's all I had, it's not as if I made a habit of ripping clothes from my teachers.

***
The door to the left opened and Millie and her mother appeared like the week before, Moira walked straight up to the podium "Good morning everyone" she began. "I have a print out for you all, for todays class, so if you could take one and pass it along please" she said and she stepped forward and handed the hefty wad of papers to Cam who took them, taking one and handing them off to me.

I take the print out, handing them on to the next, and I nervously bide my time, focusing on the words on the page instead of looking up to see if she's even spotted me yet. I feel Cams sneaker tap my own and I glance sideways to him "she sees you" he mouths and I instantly wrinkle up my nose as if I am pained but I am recoiling at the thought, trying to push back down the anxiety that flooded me instantly at the thought of her looking at me right now.