(Lillian's Pov) *THAT NIGHT*
After I got home from hanging out with Penny, I didn't leave my room for the rest of the night. I tried to sleep, I really wanted nothing more than to sleep. I honestly didn't fucking care if I had any nightmares, I wanted to sleep but god knows the depression wouldn't let me sleep for the life of me and just LOVES to remind me how much of a piece of shit I am and how goddamn awful my life is...God I hate this...I hated this so fucking much...Why, why, why!
I tried so hard to distract myself but it was like no matter what I did, it was never good enough...Nothing I ever do was fucking good enough. I couldn't stop thinking...my god I wanted nothing more than to stop fucking thinking...please, just make it stop.
I looked at the time seeing it was a little after 2am. I was curled up on my bed feeling numb and yet feeling everything at once. My heart hurt, my head hurt, I was exhausted, drained, and most likely dying of hunger but who fucking cares am I right? Why does it fucking matter anymore, nothing fucking matters! I want to fucking die!
All the bad thoughts pounding at the base of my skull making it ache in agony. The feelings that I feel inside shattering my heart and making my gut tear up inside. The physical feelings that depression gives you. It literally kills you from the inside out and there's absolutely nothing you can do to stop it...oh god, please make it stop. I shoved my face in my pillow and screamed in agony. I sobbed as the pain in my skull felt like it was splitting it in two.
I felt hot from my face not only being shoved in my pillow but the agony and angry filled tears streaming down my face. I am so goddamn heartbroken and in pain and nobody knows and I can't fucking tell anyone because I don't want to worry them nor will they ever understand, not even my own brother. I am so goddamn alone and you have no idea how awful it feels...please...please just fucking end my suffering...I can't take it anymore...I can't...
There was a knock on my door "Lilly. Lilly. Lilly" I heard Sheldon knock three times as he said my name. I gasped and sniffled as I looked at my bedroom door...what the fuck was he doing? Was I imagining things? I panted breathlessly as I wiped my face of snot and tears because I don't want him to see me like this let alone tell my brother because the last thing I want is for him to worry....
I sighed as I weakly hopped off my bed and smoothed out my hair and clothes even though it probably didn't make a difference from how dreadful I probably looked. I took a few deep shaky breaths and answered it "H-hi Sheldon" I whispered, "Are you alright?" he asked, I nodded trying to avoid his eye contact "Yea why wouldn't I be?" I asked as my voice was practically gone from screaming it into my pillow.
He looked confused "because I can hear you crying from my bedroom" Sheldon said, my eyes widen as I sniffled "Really? How?" I asked, "I've been told I have Vulcan hearing and these walls are pretty thin" He stated, I nodded "oh" I said softly, "Are you alright?" He asked again "um yea, I'm okay. There's no need to worry about me" I said waving him off.
Sheldon look unconvinced "was that sarcasm?" he asked, I sighed "Well, yes, but I'm fine really there's no reason to worry about me" I said, Sheldon looked confused and concerned "For some reason I do feel the need to be concerned" he said, I sighed as I went and sat on my bed while Sheldon walked into my bedroom "I'm just sad is all" I said, Sheldon nodded "I'll go make you some tea. Be right back" he said and walked out which made me confused but I smiled softly and nodded as he went to make me some tea.
Since it was late and I know Leo is sleeping, I got up from my bed and headed out to the kitchen to see Sheldon making me some tea "Why tea?" I asked, Sheldon looked at me "When a friend is sad it's customary to make them a hot beverage and allow them to vent about their problems so I'm making you some tea. I hope Chamomile is okay?" he stated, I smiled and nodded softly "that's sweet of you Shelly, thank you" I said,
YOU ARE READING
Nothing But The Little Sister (Sheldon Cooper Fanfic)
FanfictionLillian Hofstadter was the sister to Leonard Hofstadter. She was the youngest of the Hofstadter family and not really very close with her family aside her older brother Leonard...To be honest, nobody really notices she exists aside Leonard and that...
