Nothing But The Little Sister (Sheldon Cooper Fanfic)

Chapter 7: I Think I Like Him...Uh Oh

(Lillian's Pov) *THE NEXT MORNING*

I fluttered my eyes open to the sun shining through my bedroom window. I sighed and groaned as I turned the other way wanting to go back to sleep, but I looked to see Sheldon was still next to me. My eyes widen and face flushed as my breathing starting to become a little fast and heavy, 'What is he doing here? I thought he'd leave after I fell asleep last night? What is going on?' I thought.

I felt Sheldon's arms wrapped securely around my waist which made me feel warm and safe. Something I've never really felt before but meeting Sheldon and getting past all his somewhat frustrating quirks, awkwardness and unawareness of feelings and emotions, there's a real person underneath it. Someone who truly cares about me and how I feel and that feels good, it makes me feel good and less lonely.

I mean part of me doesn't quite understand why he's doing this or for what purpose and why he cares so much but, it's nice, it feels really nice and yes, part of me is scared of what's gonna happen next and what to do because I'm scared to lose what me and Sheldon have, scared of what I might do or say, what Sheldon might do or say, hell, even what my brother might say. I'm scared...I'm scared of it all because I know how fucked up I am.

I know how I work and how my brain works and I know shit like this doesn't last long. I'm scared to be happy because I don't know what happiness is and I'm afraid it'll get taken away from me. It's happened before, I've tried to be happy, I've tried and tried and everytime I look in the mirror, get a text, sleep, have a nightmare or flashback, I become so fucked up and so damaged that I ruin things.

I hurt and isolate myself from those who love and care about me and I know that can hurt some people, I know how these things work. I'm smarter than I look and yet, I can't stop...I don't know how to stop...I'm scared to stop. I don't know what to do...someone tell me what to do.

I didn't realize Sheldon woke up until I felt him boop my nose. I blinked a few times and let out a huge sigh I didn't know I was holding in. I looked to see Sheldon was fully awake now... 'great, he probably thinks I was being weird and staring at him...fun' I thought and internally rolled my eyes, "Are you alright?" He asked, I nodded "Y-yea s-sorry I wasn't staring at you, I just lost my train of thought" I said,

Sheldon nodded "You know, I've always found that idiom funny" He said, I smiled with confusion "What do you mean?" I asked, "well the term lost my train of thought means you forgot what you were talking about but to me it just sounds like you're talking about actual trains. I like trains" He explained with a goofy smile on his face.

I giggled a little "That is pretty funny" I said, Sheldon nodded as it went quiet for a moment "So. How come you stayed with me last night? I thought you were going to leave after I fell asleep?" I asked, Sheldon looked confused for a moment and tried to figure out what he was going to say "I really don't know. You fell asleep pretty fast so I was going to go back to my room to sleep but I couldn't stop looking at you...you seemed...at peace with sleeping and I guess I was afraid that your peace would be disturbed if I moved and I didn't want to hear you cry again so I just decided to stay despite me being a little uncomfortable" He stated,

My eyes widen and face flushed "o-oh really? W-well that's sweet of you Shelly b-but I-I don't want you to be uncomfortable around me" I stuttered through my words. Sheldon shook his head "You specifically don't make me uncomfortable, it's just the act of sleeping with another person in someone else's bed that does but I managed to sleep just fine" He stated, I smiled softly "If you say so" I said, he furrowed his eyebrows "I know so cause I just said so" he said, I giggled and shook my head "well, next time we can sleep in your bed" I said without even thinking.

Sheldon looked confused until I realized what I had said which made my eyes widen and face flush with embarrassment "S-shit I-I didn't mean it like that I-I just meant it like uh-" I rambled and tried to explain but I couldn't which made me groan and face palm "What did you mean then?" he asked, I sighed "I don't know. I was playing around. Forget I said anything" I said as I hopped out of bed and out of my room to the kitchen to see Leonard up talking with Penny.