The Queen and her Wolf

Chapter Fifteen

My mind was in a daze as I wandered back to the castle grounds. Madeline's words swam around inside my head like a storm. I should have been taught all of this information before I'd been thrown into the deep end of an age-old bonding ritual. Why had no one thought to teach me? Did everyone secretly want me to fail, giving me a handicap as early as possible?

I always felt the absence of my parents but never more than I did right now. It was a hollow pain in my chest that refused to dissipate. They would have taught me these things. They wouldn't have let me feel so lost and ignorant in a world I barely understood. Would they have even thought this ritual was necessary?

Stumbling on some uneven ground I huffed out a breath and ceased my descent to remove my heels. Feeling the cool earth beneath my feet seemed to ground me somewhat and I continued walking.

If my parents were around the council probably wouldn't have even deemed the ritual necessary. Being as young and inexperienced as I was made them uneasy about the future of the kingdom I guess. Simply better to shackle me with some ancient responsibilities to soothe the masses. Who cares what I think, right?

I barely knew how to run my kingdom yet let alone add in that of the Lycans. Already I was struggling to accommodate one she-wolf in my world, who thought I could handle an entire pack without the knowledge Madeline guarded? Maybe, I pondered, she guarded it so well that they had no idea that she even had it. In any case, Madeline had given me as much information as she could on Alana's possible heritage and, while it fit my hunch about her descending from Isis, I found I had more questions than answers.

What made Alana and Isis so special that they could see visual stimuli through the bond? Did it have something to do with genes from other races, or was it just a fluke? Was it a skill they all had but only some were skilled enough to wield it? What was Alana's specific lineage? Did it even matter?

Madeline had offered to let me peruse her collection of Lycan literature as often as I liked as long as I didn't announce it to anyone. The dire look in her eyes made me curious about who exactly she was hiding this knowledge from but I agreed regardless. At least she was willing to teach me what she could.

It would take time to learn the immense amount of Lycan lore held in those scrolls and tomes. I wondered fleetingly if I should just try and get answers straight from the source. Would Alana have the answers to my questions? Would she even tell me if she did?

A howl echoed through the night air.

I froze, mid-step. Like a melody playing off the mountains around me, I was entranced by the beauty of its sound.

Was that Alana?

Panic briefly welled up inside me. Was she okay? Did she shift because she was in trouble? At this moment I almost wished that the bond went both ways. Gathering my dress in my hands I hastily began moving again. Stifling the urge to break into a full sprint I continued to listen to the music of her wolf. She didn't sound distressed.

No...

If anything, the sound was exuberant and free.

It was beautiful.

Part of me wished that I could lay eyes on her right now. A selfish part. Whatever was bringing her joy right now had nothing to do with me and Alana deserved to revel in it without my interference. I imagine if I was there I'd only dampen her spirits as a reminder of her servitude in captivity.

I smiled to myself but there was no joy in it. Knowing what I had condemned her to in being my guardian, I only hoped that she'd found a reason to throw off her worries. If only for a moment. She deserved that.

Knowing that my guardian wasn't in danger, I slowed my pace and savoured the rest of my walk back to the castle. The stars were rich tonight and the moon was bright above me. Breathing deeply I replayed the melody of the she-wolf's howl in my mind, humming out an accompanying tune.

Over and over it I went, tweaking it here and there to compliment the rise and fall of the howl, until it had all the makings of a beautiful lullaby. The song came to a natural end once more and I found myself standing outside Alana's quarters, my feet having paused here unbidden.

My hand hovered over the door handle.

The corridor flickered, the light from the candles dancing in their sconces. Letting out a breath I dropped my hand, opting to rest my forehead on her door instead. Closing my eyes, I listened.

The fire was crackling low in its' hearth, stirred only by the breeze slipping through the jarred window. Faint insects could be heard outside but all was quiet in the room except for the regular beat of the she-wolf's heart. It was slow and regular, peaceful. She was sleeping.

Standing there for what seemed like an eternity, I simply listened to that steady rhythm. I let it fill me up and empty me out, over and over.

Until suddenly, it wasn't so steady anymore. It was beginning to race and falter with her shaky breaths. The sheets around her tousled as she twisted and rolled. Was she having a nightmare? My hand flew to the door knob but fell short of grasping it.

This room was her only safe haven right now and if I came charging in whenever I wanted, how safe was she going to feel then? Gritting my teeth, I took a deep breath. She deserved to feel safe and I wasn't about to take that away from her.

Releasing my breath, I began to sing the lullaby I'd created with Alana's own howl. Obviously, I wasn't a wolf but I tried my best to recreate its' beautiful melody, hoping she'd hear it somehow and be soothed. Once I'd finished I simply started again, bleeding the final note into the beginning to loop it endlessly.

My own heart seemed to calm beneath the gentle sound and I was able to listen again to Alana's. It was slowing, becoming more regular; she was sinking back into a deep sleep once more. My shoulders sagged, whether from relief or exhaustion, I wasn't sure, all I knew is that the lullaby had helped my guardian find peace tonight. For that I was grateful.

Listening for one long moment I decided that she would sleep well enough from here and retired to my own quarters, all the while singing Alana's lullaby to myself, a smile on my lips.