The Queen and her Wolf

Chapter Eighteen

Everything was different as a wolf. It was something I relished whenever I shifted: the way my ears twitched at the slightest disturbance, how the movements of others rumbled through the ground and tickled the pads of my paws, if the air shifted I could feel it in the strands of my pelt, and the way my nose could scent everything from the fading tracks of prey to the subtle undercurrents of emotions.

Yes. Always had I loved my wolf. The best defense and offense in one strong package. Never did I feel more prepared than when I donned the shape of my wolf. Until today.

Hollow emptiness had threatened to consume me upon waking. So much so that I felt as if a mere breath of wind would have me crumpling in on myself. Hearing a knock on my chamber door Id attempted to pull myself together with a confident façade. Don't let them know your weaknesses. Stay strong. Words my father had always drilled into me and though I pushed him as far from me as I could, those words never seemed to loosen their grip.

So I'd done what my father instructed. I hid my weakness as the vampire Queen stepped into my room, even as the words from my nightmare swam inside my head.

Abomination.

Disappointment.

Broken.

I wanted to run away, back to my forests. I wanted to hide from my fear and guilt and shame.

Not a wolf.

Id felt it all welling up inside me, building to a point where I would no longer be able to contain it. No longer would I be able to hide my weakness. No longer could I be strong. I didn't deserve to be the Queen's guardian. Choose someone else. Choose someone worthy. Anyone but me.

As if the Queen could sense my thoughts, her attentive gaze had softened. Those eyes, clear as gemstones, never left mine as she stepped toward me. The bond opened more and more with each advancement. So much flooded through my mind: images, sounds, and feelings. I'd have been overwhelmed if not for the tight leash the vampire had on her end. Nothing was distinguishable in the torrent of thought and feeling but there was no pain, only warmth and light. The words from my nightmare seemed to disintegrate beneath the vampire's mind and began to be replaced with other words. The Queen's words.

Strong.

Pure.

Beautiful.

You are the wolf I chose.

The hollowness in my chest had swelled with renewed strength after countless breaths and distantly I'd been aware of the vampire brushing a tear away. Her hands had been gentle and her expression kind but my instincts had still forced me to step out of her grip. Even though something in my gut clenched at the motion.

Lounging to the left of the vampire Queen's throne, I peered over at her as she held an audience with a seemingly endless line of subjects. How could I have been so wrong about vampires? My whole life Id viewed them as bloodthirsty creatures of the night. Monster. Enemy. Threat. That was the story Id lived my life by, until now.

This vampire...this woman, she held so much power within herself and she deigned to share it with me in my moment of vulnerability. She hadn't sought to hurt me further or dismiss me because I was beneath her. No, she opened up part of herself in order to drag me out of my self-deprecation. Only the basic necessities leaked through the bond now but I couldn't ignore the insistent yearning inside me. A yearning to know more of her, see more...feel more.

I let out a wolfish huff, gently shaking out my mane so as to not disturb the proceedings. A jolt ran through me as the Queen ran a gentle hand over my ears, they twitched in response, and I swear the corner of her mouth did the same.