Chapter 8 "Sick Advantage"

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Raven-

The Beast had been coming out more and more recently.  He taunted me over how lovesick I was. Then again wasn't he too?


I had been doing something I wasn't proud of. Something sick and twisted. I used the Beast to let my emotions out on. I preteneded he was Beast Boy and let him kiss me, tell me sweet things. The Beast knew what I was doing, he simply decided it was better than nothing.


He could handle my random outburst of magic when we went sometimes to far. In fact he sadistically laughed, as if he was proud of my uncontrolled powers.


I was slowly began being eaten away at my guilt as two then three then four times of this behavior happened. I couldn't keep doing this. What was wrong with me? When did love blind me this much?


Beast boy needed my help to control the Beast and I kept brushing it off for my own selfishness.


This was his body I was using, not the Beast's.


I sat in my dark room with my head in my hand's. A soft tap on my door startled me, a head poking in.

"Rae?" His eyes were a soft green and his ears slightly drooped.


I cleared my voice and averted my gaze out the window "Yeah?"


"Are you okay?" I could hear his soft steps against my wooden floor. Then the other side of my bed slowly dipped in.


"Yeah" My voice was small as I kept my gaze on the window.


"Are you..scared of me?" I looked over and saw his eyes trained on his hands as he fiddled with them.


"Me? Scared of you?" I gave a soft snort than my small smirk fell.


"Possibly.." I mumbled.


He looked up at my face "Why? How can I be scary to the half demon Raven?" He had an eyebrow cocked.

"Do you think that highly of me? That I wouldn't be scared of anything?"


I fell sideways on my bed and looked over to him.

He scanned my face "I guess, I mean you aren't scared of horror and gore, when we go to fight you seem almost fearless!" He looked down in the pattern of my sheets "Sometimes I shake or scream, I never always feel confident..but you, you always seem confident Rae" he looked up at me with adoration which mde me feel bitter.


The guilt deepening.

"Garfield.. i'm scared. I'm sad. But you'll never know it, I don't show expressions, which makes people just think that, that's me normally. You'd never tell the difference.."


He laid next to me and looked at my dark ceiling "I wish you'd be more open with me"

My eyes widened as I turned my head to look at him.

I bit my bottom lip "You don't want me to be"

He turned his head to get a better look at me "And why is that?"


"I just feel like it would make things..bad between us"


He sat up and took my hand that was resting on my stomach "You will be my Raven no matter what you've done or have thought"


I smiled softly "Thank you"

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