Envy (Dark Waters Book 1)

Chapter Seventeen:

I leaned against the brick walls for a while, digging into my thoughts. Then when I knew hours had passed—I felt it in my bones—I found a chair to sit on instead. My mind raced with my decisions—both present and past. But the present hung more with me.

I'd rushed into the temple and took the first opportunity without considering the consequences. Gluttony told me not to, yet, I did, and here I was. Where was he? I had no idea. I hoped and prayed he escaped. He was always the one to sacrifice for me. I needed to somehow, some way, return the favor...

"Are you okay?" Priscilla approached my shadowed corner and leaned against the wall beside my chair. She looked at me with a small smile, pointing at my chest. "I don't know if those have healed all the way or more than before," she said. "I just know they were pretty bad."

"They were," I sighed, passing my hands over my chest and face. I hadn't thought about it because there wasn't any more pain. At least, not physical pain. My thoughts, guilt, and regret were a different story. "I'm okay now," I said.

"You sure?" She bit her bottom lip as she looked at me, lifting herself on the heels of her feet. "Once Gabriel walked away, you just came over here and... haven't said a word."

I raised my brows as I looked at her.

She looked away. "I know I'm in danger, but so are you," she said. "You almost died because you put yourself in the way to protect me."

"I'm the reason you're in danger. The opportunities for your soul opened because of me," I said quietly. "I was going to kill you."

"But did you? No." She bit her bottom lip, her gaze shyly meeting mine. "The keyword today is was."

Regardless of what she said, I felt like I was the reason everything went wrong, and she should avoid me. There wasn't anything I could do to the table to help. I also didn't know what I would be needed for if I could. Based on Gabriel's literature around his warehouse, I was a waste of space, the evil he was meant to extinguish.

Why was I here?

You disregarded the Seven and followed your heart. This isn't the first time you've done this.

"There you go, lost again." She giggled quietly as she slid down against the wall and sat on the floor next to me. With her arms resting on her knees, she relaxed, and her bright aura filled the surrounding space. When I looked over at her, I felt the bright light of her soul hit my body, my heart. The force of it made me want to forget the day and be thankful that Greed hadn't won, that Gluttony protected and saved me from Wrath and Lust, and that I was here. Again. With her.

But I knew that was false happiness and hope. Her soul had always made me feel like everything would be okay when I was with her. That's why I ran with her and explored the forests by her side. Her adventurous soul was my drug. I couldn't fall into that again, even though I wanted to.

Priscilla reached, so she linked her fingers together, twiddling her thumbs. "We still need to have that talk, you know," she said.

I snorted and shook my head, pushing my hands through my hair. "You still want to talk after everything's that gone on tonight?"

"Talking is good for the soul." She looked up at me, pressed her back against the wall, and felt like I was being forced to look into her eyes. I did because she was good for the soul; I wasn't sure about talking.

"So, come on," Priscilla reached for my hand, "let it out."

Let it out? Sure, I could easily start a conversation on how I was madly in love with her soul over a hundred years ago and willingly gave up my place to have her, only to lose her right after. Then, I'd fast forward to today, to my desperate attempt at rejoining the group of demons that threw me aside like trash after one wrong decision and then tossed me into the wolves' den with an offer they knew I wouldn't pass.