Mastermind

Greece, August 9th 2022

*A/N: I wanted to let you know that there are brief mentions about alcohol abuse, rehab and panic attacks. I hope you enjoy, this is a bit longer than normal.

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Sleep eluded me that night after the pool. We had stayed outside with Pierre's brothers for a while and finally I decided to call it a night. Quickly, I showered and crawled under the sheets hoping to expel the feelings that dug like claws into my brain. The ceiling became my best friend, images seemed to flash through the darkness. The clock read 1:00 when I heard movement outside the door. Slowly, I crept to the door afraid to open it. I stood frozen by the possibility of what opening the door would mean. A few moments later, I heard footsteps recede quickly down the hallway and a creak of the stairs. Returning to my staring contest with the darkness, a war waged within my head. Curiosity had gotten the best of me when I agreed to this but I couldn't blame tonight on curiosity. There was something else pitting my heart and head against one another.

If I could just stay away...not let anything like tonight happen again.

There was no part of me that wanted to admit, it might be too late to put the lid back on Pandora's Box.

I was awoken by a pounding on my door and all five Gasly boys crowding into my room. Pierre held a tray with toast, eggs and fruit as well as a glass of orange juice and a cup of coffee.

"We didn't know which you would want, so we made both." His messy hair indicated that they had been working for a while.

"It's...it's amazing."

So much for staying away.

They watched apprehensively as I rose and took the tray from them. Smiling, I took the toast first and was pleasantly surprised. This made them grin and high five each other.

"Mom wanted me to tell you that we're going down to the beach in around an hour so...get your swimsuit out."

"And! Be prepared for a game of football. It's the best on the beach." Cyril added and I cringed slightly.

"I'll be the ref boys-"

"But, we need you to make even teams!" This protest came from Paul.

"Just let her be...we will convince her down by the grecian sea." Pierre vanished from my room with a flourish and a short laugh which left me happily speechless.

I didn't want to admit it, but it was difficult to just watch them play their game. Growing up in a family of racers meant that everything was a competition. When Lewis would come home for breaks, video games would turn into tournaments and shopping would become a game of who could find the items the quickest. I caught Pierre's gaze and the simple lift of his brows had me standing ready to play. Pascale cheered us on from the side as sand sprayed. Nicolas and Paul were in perfect sync while I kind of served as a backup. But, none of us were a match for the oldest Gasly brother. He was just a flash of orange shorts and sand then the ball was gone. They celebrated another point, he grinned and my stomach did a flip. Approaching with his hand raised I shoved it away.

"Wow, are you upset? I couldn't tell." He grinned and I wanted to wipe the cheeky expression right off his face.

"I am not upset."

"You look upset."

"I am not-"

"It's okay to lose Hamilton,"

"I know its-" I groaned and turned my back on him.

"Do you need to cool off?" Hearing his steps in the sand I faced him quickly. Throwing my hands out to protect myself, cheers from the younger brothers rose from a few feet away. "I think you need to cool off." My feet left the ground and I was thrown over Pierre's shoulder. Trying to dissuade him, my hands connected with his back, but the waves began to tickle my feet. That's when I knew it was too late for me, my body sank quickly into the water but Pierre's hands never left my body. We broke the surface together and something clicked in my brain. For months, I had been living beneath the surface. Being thrown with the current...unable to pull myself free, and just when I thought I could breathe, another wave would pull me back under. This time was different. Lewis and Lando tried the best they could to keep me from spiraling down into the darkness again, but it never seemed to stick. The happiness was always temporary, but as the water rolled off my face and I felt hands still gripping my arms, I was exhilarated. Laughs spilled from both of us and loud splashes filled the air around us. We were pulled back up to the beach and I saw a small smile play on Pascale's lips. Looking down, I realized Pierre's hand was intertwined with mine, except...I didn't remember that happening in the first place. I wish it felt wrong and that I wanted to pull my hand away, but honestly nothing had felt more right.