Daisy in a Meadow

35 - A Deal's A Deal

BACK TO DAISY'S POV

*****

My mother used to be normal.

You know, the type of mother that reads to you until you fall asleep, ties your hair into cute little pigtails, buys you a new doll when you're on good behavior. She had never been the affectionate type to shower me in hugs and kisses, but still, she cared for me.

"What changed?" Elias quietly asked after I explained this to him, rubbing a soothing circle on my leg.

"As I grew older, her need to protect me became toxic. I don't think she even realizes it, but a lot of the things that she did to me were messed up. For example, when I was younger, my mom had this punishment she often used on me, called The Closet. If I did something wrong—accidentally broke a glass cup, got in trouble at school, lied about eating an extra cookie—she'd lock me in a closet for hours at a time. There were a few times she'd forget about me, and I wasn't let out until the next day. I have severe claustrophobia because of it."

Elias looked stunned, before his face morphed into an expression of guilt. "Daisy, I'm so sorry."

"Sorry? You didn't do anything," I looked at him strangely.

He shook his head. "When the guys and I first met you, we thought it'd be funny to lock you in the janitor's closet, and you were stuck in there overnight. I can't even imagine what that must've been like for you. Fuck, the way we treated you, the things I've said..."

Elias rummaged a hand through his tousled hair in frustration. I grabbed his hand and peered at him sincerely. "I've long since forgiven you guys."

"Doesn't make it okay," he appeared angry with himself.

"Of course not, but don't beat yourself up about it, Ellie. It's water under the bridge."

"I don't know how you do it," he admitted, peering at me with something akin to admiration. "I mean, you've got every excuse in the world to be a horrible person. Yet, even when people mistreat you, like that moron Anthony Miller did, you still remain so forgiving."

"I'm not as nice as you think," I sadly spoke. Before he could overthink my words, I cleared my throat and continued. "Anyways, I think it's just easier to forgive and forget, than play the blame game and hold grudges. It's what my mother's been doing to me, and look how much it's damaged our relationship."

"I don't get it, though. What does your mother blame you for?"

"My father's death."

Elias paused, furrowing his eyebrows in thought. "He died of a car crash, right?"

I froze, after realizing I was being caught in my own lie. "Yes, I guess I did say that."

"So, how could that possibly be your fault?" Elias asked, eyes intently boring into mine.

"Forget it. I've said too much," I jumped up from the stairs.

Elias was perplexed by my abrupt change in demeanor. I could practically see the gears shifting in his head. Attempting to distract myself, I approached the pile of broken beer bottles in the hallway, which my mother had thrown onto the floor in her drunken haze. Elias followed after me.