FOURTY-THREE.

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"I've never known the lovin' of a man,
But it sure felt nice when he was holdin' my hand."

─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───

NADIA'S POV:

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NADIA'S POV:

I got home from the hospital this morning and I have been unable to sleep for longer than half an hour as the pain is just too much. I can barely swallow and my throat is burning, causing me to be in agony just from having saliva in my mouth. I have been sat on my windowseat all night wanting nothing more than to go up onto the roof and be with Archie with a cigarette perched between my lips, but I can't because of this fucking surgery.

The nurse did tell me that the recovery would be painful and like hell but somehow I thought that it was just something they warn you of no matter what and I wasn't expecting it to be this bad at all. She suggested having ice cream but I can't cope with it, I just keep having random periods where it just hits me and it's so bad I start crying.

I was worried for most of the night, just like I was the night before I had the surgery done because I was so off my face that it was even worrying the nurses. They came to the conclusion that it was so bad because I was so dehydrated and felt so unwell before my surgery that it caused me to have an adverse reaction to the anaesthesia. No complications happened afterwards though, which was good and I was able to come home at last.

The sky is partially clear tonight and so the moon and stars are somewhat visible, minus the few hiding behind the clouds, not wanting to be seen. I relate to these stars, I want to be able to shine on my own but I just can't, not anymore. I feel so alone that I just want to hide behind everyone else, so I am never seen again.

I hate that I have no one in my corner. Here I am sitting alone, counting the stars in the sky as they are the only thing I can truly count on anymore.

I'm not sure if I feel any different than what I did before I had the surgery but I suppose it is too early to tell. When I recover from the surgery I will be able to feel a difference and I haven't looked forward to anything more than I have for that feeling of relief; relief that all of this suffering will be over.

I blow out a breath and wince at the pain and make my way back to my bed. I don't do anything with my time now other than sleep, but now that I can't even sleep I feel lost and have no idea what to do. I have tried reading a book but that makes my head hurt after I've read about twenty words.

I grab my TV remote and put it on for the first time in a good while and scroll through the channels to see what it is on. I haven't watched a lot of TV over the last few months as I haven't been awake long enough to concentrate on anything so I mainly use it as background noise, so I am not completely on my own in the silence. Now that I am in too much pain and unable to swallow painkillers I doubt I will be getting more than an hour of sleep tonight, so I decide to go on disney plus as I recently heard that they put Glee on there, which is my comfort show.

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