Hayes (A Carolina Cyclones Story)

26.

Hayes

I feel pathetic.

This concussion feels like another slap in the face from life, like a reminder that no matter what I do I'm never going to measure up to the idea people have of who I should be. Or maybe it's my own standards I'm not living up to. The ones engrained into me by a father who I was never good enough for who drank himself to death. Either way, my team is at the arena. Working on the ice to get better and here I sit, on my ass in my house, wasting away with a bruised brain.

The one and only bright light in all of this is that Maggie is here. Maggie who was worried enough about me to come down to the locker room when I sent for her. Maggie who drove me home and took care of me while I was sullen and out of it. Maggie who cleaned my fucking house and then worried she might be overstepping. She could never overstep. I want her around more than I've wanted anything in a really long time and I think it's a tell tale sign that I'm falling for her.

The shower I just finished has left me smelling what I hope is a lot less offending. It definitely has me feeling a little better and I'm able to make it back to the living room where Maggie waits for me on the couch.

"You feel up to eating anything?" she asks as I approach and I shake my head no because even the thought of food right now makes me want to vomit.

"Ok, that's fine. I did some googling while you were in the shower. It's said a cold cloth on your head while you rest might help. Do you want to try that?"

I groan as I lower myself onto the couch stretching out and then glancing over in her direction. "I'll try anything that might help this headache."

Maggie offers me a grim smile as she stands to her feet and disappears to the kitchen. I hear the tap run for a moment before she's back, cool, damp cloth in hand leaning over me to place it gently across my forehead.

Like a classic neanderthal all I can notice in this moment is the way her boobs are practially in my face as she does this and I can't stop myself from grabbing her wrist and pulling her down on to me. The weight of her against my body, her curves perfectly molding to mine has little Hayes interest peaked.

"Thank you." I mutter, my eyes focused on her dazzling emerald green ones. I know the words can never encapsulate my true feelings for her but I say them anyways.

"It's what anyone, especially a decent girlfriend, would do, Hayes." I love the way it sounds hearing her refer to herself as my girlfriend. I can't bask in the happiness it brings me though, too many memories of my past speeding past the windows of my mind at the moment.

"No. No, it's really not, Maggie. I've had a lifetime of being let down to prove to me just how special it is to have someone willing to go out of there way for you. Thank you's not nearly enough, but I don't have better words." I pause for a moment, trying to decide if I'm going to push my luck. I can't resist. Tilting my head slightly I breath in her ear, "I might have better moves though."

She lets out a breathy sigh and my basketball shorts I'd thrown on after my shower suddenly feel tight.

"Hayes." She draws my name out so it sounds like a whine and I have a feeling I'm not gonna like whatever comes out of her mouth next. "You're supposed to be relaxing so you're head can get better."

"What I have in mind would definitely leave me more relaxed." I quip. Maggie only rolls her eyes and playfully swats at my chest before she pushes off of me and slowly stands to her feet beside the couch I'm laid across.

"Damn, not even a kiss to make me feel better?" I pout, sticking my lip out for extra emphasis. She laughs out loud and I note how much I truly love the sound. Bending over, she places the softest of kisses to my lips before pulling away with a smile and retaking her place on the loveseat diagonal from me.

It's funny because Maggie wasn't part of my plans and she's shaken up a lot of my routines, things that normally cause me stress and I don't handle well. But... she's made my life better. Even sitting here, benched from the playoffs, I know that she's changing me for the better and with her here, change doesn't seem so scary.

*

"I'm not keeping you from work, am I?"

It's been a few hours and if I had to guess I'd say it's about noon. I don't have a clock in my living room and usually I would just check my phone for the time but Maggie confiscated it because apparently the concussion means I'm supposed to limit screen time. This also means that I can't watch tv or really do much of anything except lay here. On this couch. Bored as hell. With a sexy woman who won't let me do her less than six feet from me.

"No, but if me being here is bothering you I c–" "Don't even finish that sentence." I say over her. "Move in if you want."

"It's a little soon don't you think?" She laughs and narrows her eyes.

"Probably.. Okay definitely, but I do like having you around. I hadn't realized how lonely I was in this big old house until you started filling it. Selfishly, I kinda want to just lock you away here with me."

That came out a little weird and I worry for half a second that she'll run because I'm a dumb ass but she merely laughs and replies. "Sounds a little like beauty in the beast."

"Does that make me the beast?"

"You can be beauty if you want. I think you'd fit the dress well."

It's such a dumb conversation. Fun and light hearted when over the years I'd become more attuned to the solemn and serious variety.

"But seriously, I'm not a complete invalid. I don't want to keep you here against your wishes."

"Have I said anything to make you think that I don't want to be here?" Her question is pointed. Still, I shake my head no.

"So why is it that you think I wouldn't want to be? It's what decent girlfriends do."

"I wouldn't know, I haven't really done the girlfriend thing as an adult."

"And why is that?"

I shrug.

"I don't know. Just never met the right person I guess."

"It's not just with us that I've noticed this, Hayes. When you talk about your team it's always like you think you're one mistake away from them turning on you. Like you're just waiting to be abandoned."

That's pretty fucking on the nose and I imagine this little talk may have just opened a can of worms that I'm not so sure I'm ready for. At this point I don't see a way out of the conversation that's coming. And it clearly is, as Maggie's next words to me are, "I think it's time for you to tell me about your Dad, Hayes."

Well..fuck.