Hayes (A Carolina Cyclones Story)

46.

Hayes

"Hansen! My office, now."

Fuck.

Coach Segue isn't a mean man. He's a hardass on the ice but he loves and respects all of his players like we're his own sons. I can count on one hand the times I've seen him yell at someone. But judging by the tone of his voice, I'm about to add a finger to the count.

I scrub my hand down my face and wince. I've got a cut along my cheek and a black eye. Jax was in the locker room a few minutes ago and I felt a smidge of satisfaction at the fact that he looks worse than I do. The feeling doesn't last long though. I know I was a fucking idiot last night. I know I set quite-possibly the worst example possible for the team. And I have a sneaking dread filled suspicion that I'm about to have the C officially ripped from my chest.

The feeling of eyes on me doesn't go unnoticed as I rise from my place on the bench and head to the office coach has claimed as his own while we're in Jersey. I know the whole team has heard by now what happened last night. Hockey players really are just a bunch of gossips.

It's not just the coach in the room when I enter. Our general manager and owner are both present and I immediately feel nauseous. What the fuck have I done?

"Take a seat, Hansen." Coach says, his voice is more gentle than I expected. I'm not sure if that should make me more or less concerned about what is about to be said.

"We want to talk about what happened between you and Faulkner last night."

"I figured as much." I say, my back ramrod straight and my knee bouncing with nerves.

"Where's your head at, son?" He starts. "I've known you for years now Hayes and I've never known you to be so aggressive. Especially with your teammates. Especially with teammates who you've previously defended."

With the way Coach had handed me my ass last night this isn't at all how I'd expected this conversation to go and I'm a bit off put.

"It's like you said last night, Coach. I haven't been thinking clearly. Let my personal life cloud my judgment and look at what that got me." I say, leaning back in my seat and dropping my hands to my knees.

Patrick, the GM, and Clyde the owner share a look that makes the hair on my neck stand up and a bead of sweat drips down my brow. Is this it? Is this where they finally tell me what I already know, that I'm not good enough to Captain this team?

Clyde is the one who finally speaks up.

"Hayes, do you know why you were selected as the team captain?"

The question seems rhetorical so my only reply is to give him my attention.

"The staff had narrowed it down to you and two of your teammates. This.." He says, holding up an envelope, "this, what a huge deciding factor in the end."

He throws the paper down on the desk in front of me, he and the others in the room look at me expectantly until I reach forward, gripping it in my hand I pull out a single sheet of computer paper, messy handwriting scrawled across it.

I chance one more glance up at the men sitting around me, a deep sigh escaping as I begin to read.

To whom it may concern,

I know that soon the office intends to select a Captain for this team. I'm well aware my opinion is probably of little or no value but I'm giving it anyway. This team has the potential to be great. So many of our core guys are incredibly talented and need just an ounce of confidence, someone to believe in them, to lead by example and show them what they're capable of. I cannot think of anyone on this team that is more suited to this task than Hayes Hansen.

Maybe Hayes isn't the most obvious choice. He's often quiet in crowded rooms. That doesn't mean he lacks leadership, in fact I think it might be his most effective display of it. He knows when to keep his mouth shut, but that also means that when he speaks people listen. Outside of that, he's the first one on the ice every day and often the last to leave. He welcomes in new guys and his personality puts people immediately at ease.

In fact, I think the only thing the guy lacks is belief in himself. I think in a leadership role maybe he'd finally gain that.

Again, I know you may not give one thought to what I've said here but I felt compelled to speak. Hayes should be our captain.

Jax Faulkner

I'm a little shell shocked as I stare at the name scribbled at the bottom of the letter. Of all my teammates I'd have thought Jax was one of the least likely to approve of my selection to the captaincy. Now I hold in my hands the proof that he was actually one of my biggest supporters?

I blink as I stare at the letter a few times, wondering if it's simply a mirage and this is all some sort of weird alternate reality dream. It's got me questioning everything because the guy stood up for me and got me into a position that I still don't always believe I belong in but I'm also still pretty sure he fucked my girlfriend.

I don't like the contradicting views of him tumbling around in my brain. Right now, I want to be able to hate him, to feel vindicated, but this letter throws a bit of a wrench into that for me.

"The part he and I most agree on," Coach starts, "Is that you lack belief in yourself."

There's a large lump growing in my throat and I force myself to swallow it down.

"We didn't choose you for this lightly, Hansen. You deserve to be there. The last few days your actions haven't reflected the person we know you to be. Whatever the issue may be, you need to deal with it. This team has a real shot and your inability to put the team before yourself will not be the reason we see our season come to an end. Are we understood?"

"Yes, sir." I reply quickly.

"Now, we will not be excusing your taking out your aggression on your teammates. You and Faulkner will both be fined ten thousand dollars for being dumbasses. Whatever beef there is between the two of you, find a way to squash it. Immediately. You're the captain of this team. Fucking act like it."

It's clear that's my cue to leave so I stand, walking out to find a silent locker room and wondering where the hell I go from here.