Never Ever

25| Risqué behavior

I don't have to turn around to know who it is; I'd recognize that deep voice anywhere. Instead, I watch Addy, terrified she'll notice how close we're standing and put two and two together, but she's too busy dancing with Jesse.

Bravery sets in, and knowing it's dark and crowded enough not to be obvious, I lean into Noah's chest. His fingertips trace a delicate path along my waist, skimming over the smooth fabric of my dress. I'd promised myself tonight was about rediscovering the old me, but even the old me wasn't this brave.

"I'm surprised you're not downing shots somewhere," I say, thinking back to the shirtless Calbear I'd seen. While Noah has been on his best behavior as of late, I'm under no illusion that he's an angel.

"I'm surprised you even came," he says in a low, even voice, "but I'm glad you did."

"Yeah, well, Addy didn't give me much choice." It's my attempt at acting casual, but it's hard with him standing this close. Scratch that – impossible. "What's going on with you and Jesse? Looked like you were having a lover's spat earlier."

As though we're not in the middle of a public venue, Noah slides his hand from my waist to my thigh with tantalizing slowness. "I save those just for you."

The sudden hitch of my heart betrays me, and I can no longer convince myself I have things in control. Noah's presence, as always, has turned me into putty, which is no doubt the reason I'm contemplating turning around and wrapping my arms around his neck. In public.

His voice, low and intense, comes sudden in my ear. "What about you and Pax? I noticed you looked cozy."

Heat spreads through my body when I feel his mouth because it's so familiar. It shouldn't be – I can count the times we've kissed on one hand – but the softness of his lips feels like a reprieve from the mayhem.

I fix my gaze on Addy, watching her rhythmically grind on Jesse's waist, her hands suspended high above her head as she seductively cradles his neck. If I had half the confidence of that girl, life wouldn't be so complicated. "Addy is trying to set us up."

"Tell her not to waste her time."

I feel the slightest shiver run through me. We're in uncharted territory here, not just because we've never been this close in public but because I'd previously admitted to things I had no business admitting to. Now any illusion I'm in control of this thing has been well and truly shattered.

Nervous, I scan the club again. It's not like I'm committing a crime by talking to Noah, but I can't get over the feeling that any second now, Addy will look over and instantly know what's up.

Not that it would be the worst thing in the world, but with tryouts coming up and things with Noah complicated enough, having other people involved will only increase the chances of something going wrong.

It always does.

Noah is in my ear again, this time with a slight pleading tone that heats up my stomach. "Turn around, Blue."

My throat suddenly feels dry. I'm acutely aware of how fast my heart is beating, but I can't seem to get it to slow down. His face is so close that I can smell the cologne on his neck, can feel the spicy mint of his breath as it brushes my collarbone. So close, I'm in trouble. "Someone will see us."

"They won't. It's dark, and everyone's too drunk to care."

I scan the club and realize he's right: most of the Calbears are nowhere to be seen, and Addy is too preoccupied with Jesse to notice who's behind me, which is why, with little reluctance, I cave.