Never Ever

43| Out of air

There's only two hours to go before the Calbears big meet, and we're busy hanging baubles. Or at least Addy and I are. Jesse is balancing on the sofa's edge, his t-shirt riding slowly to reveal taut skin as he hangs up the Christmas lights. The remaining Calbears are divided between doing nothing and pouring copious amounts of nachos into bowls.

"That man," Addy says, twiddling a bauble while she stares at Jesse's exposed torso, "is a work of art."

"Agreed."

"Speaking of works of art," she continues, wiggling her eyebrows, "where is that Captain of yours?"

I scan the room for Noah but find every other Calbear instead. He's here somewhere, though. I'd caught maybe a second alone with him before the other Calbears descended on the apartment, and since then, nothing.

Still, I'm telling myself I'll get all the alone time I want after the meet. And even though I should probably feel nervous, it's a relief knowing I'll get to confess my feelings without all the anxiety that comes with it. There's no second-guessing or questioning whether Noah feels the same way because I already know he loves me. That means I get to spend the rest of the evening in blissful contentment until I can get him alone to say it back.

"Don't take this the wrong way," Addy says, eye-balling my side of the tree, "but your side looks like a three-year-old decorated it. Why are so many of the baubles clumped together? Why do you have three decorations hanging from the same branch? Ever, are you okay?"

I'm about to tell her to worry about her own side when "Santa Baby" plays in the background. Suddenly, Riley stops munching on nachos to belt out, "Santa baby, just slip a Sable under the tree for me. Been an awful good girl. Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight." The room falls silent for a good twenty seconds before everyone bursts into laughter. Unbothered, Riley continues singing the second and third verses, and soon, everyone joins in.

I'm laughing so hard that the final verse sounds more like I'm howling than singing. It's funny – I've never spent much time with the team outside Noah and Pax. In fact, if I'm honest, being around them has always felt a little daunting to me, like I'm back in high school and trying to glue myself to the popular crowd. But seeing Carter making eggnog and Riley wearing his tinsel as a scarf, they don't seem as intimidating anymore.

I've given up on singing and balance on my tiptoes to hang the last bauble when a sturdy, sun-kissed arm wraps around me, pulling me into a hard, familiar chest. With the biggest smile, I turn and see Noah grinning down at me, his cheeks flushed with pink like he's just done a workout. Clutched in his other hand, hovering above us, is mistletoe.

I don't even think about it. I just reach up and grab Noah's face before kissing him. Surprised, he lowers the mistletoe, tossing it aside and holding me back, kissing me like we're the only two people here. Heck, I'm kissing him that way too.

From somewhere far off, there's a low wolf whistle. I swiftly pull back, relishing the small, surprised lift of Noah's eyebrow. "Alright, alright," Pax says, scrunching his nose, "we don't have time for that. We have a post-meet party to prepare for." He strides past us, carrying a box of elves, and sets them around the room in various provocative positions. Noah gives me one last look – dark, hooded, and like he's totally, madly in love with me. The cynic in me wonders, who would have thought?

"Come on," Noah says, nuzzling my ear, "we need to look like we're helping before Jesse throws a hissy fit."

"I have been helping," I say as he drags me into the kitchen.

For the next twenty minutes, as the time to leave for the meet draws closer, quiet anxiety fills the room. The Calbears do their best to hide it, joking and laughing as if there's no chance of them losing the meet tonight, but of course, there is. Even with all the preparation in the world, there's a chance. And as a former captain myself, I know the pressure Noah feels right now to end the season on a high note. He'll be drowning in it. It's why, ten minutes before we're supposed to leave, I grab his hand and whisper for him to take me to the rooftop.