Arcadian

The campfire

"Sit next to me Harper," Tyler says. 

"No no sit next to me, I have the best snacks," Miles competes, unzipping his bag which is filled to the brim with junk food. I roll my eyes at their pathetic begging and sit down in a seat next to Lucian.

I don't know how I'm going to survive this coach trip, I haven't gone more than two hours without a blunt in like three years and I doubt our teachers will let me roll one in front of them.

The coach takes off, steadily pulling away from the academy as I put my airpods in. I plan to sleep the whole journey, not having slept at all last night because of the internal conflict I have been experiencing.

Harper has been on my mind a lot lately. Not because I like her, I know better than to go after someone Lucian has his eyes on, but because I'm concerned. Like really fucking concerned.

No one seems to notice and I'm sure I wouldn't too if my sister didn't go through this because she's fuckin fantastic at hiding it but she's gotten a lot worse.

At first I caught on to her very restricted eating habits and how she will eat absolutely nothing throughout the day until I tell her to, then I caught on to her excessive exercising. 

First it was little things, like how she insisted on taking the stairs everyday while the rest of us got in the lift or how she refuses to sleep if she hasn't done her daily twenty thousand steps. 

But now I'm noticing the bigger things like how she joined the track team even though she's said multiple times how she doesn't even enjoy it and how she sneaks into the school's gym after hours.

I was keeping her secret but now that I see how skinny and sickly she looks I think I might have to tell someone. That's what I was stressing about all of last night, do I keep her secret or break her trust?

I watch from a few seats back as Miles repeatedly offers her some snacks out of his bag and she always politely declines, I roll my eyes at his utter unawareness.

The sky darkens outside as I stare out the window, my eyes closing as I slowly drift off.

I stand next to Emilio, watching in concern as although Harper's jumper is cute it doesn't seem to be providing much warmth because she's slightly shaking. 

I mentally cross my fingers as our teacher lists off the pairings for the tent. 

"Harper and Miles," Our teacher reads, her breath being visible in the cold December air. 

Harper quietly squeals, leaning into Miles's side as they make their way to the tent pile and grab the one they're going to set up. 

A surge of jealously hits me as I watch them skip off together, realising that I could have been alone in a tent with her for three days rather than Dex.

"Fucking hell, just hold it up," Dex shouts in frustration as our tent collapses for the third time because we are incapable of putting it together correctly. It's nine pm now so the darkness isn't helping us as we have to simultaneously hold a torch whilst trying to put it up.

"Need any help?" A soft voice calls from above us as we kneel on the dirty ground. I look up, being met with Harper's angelic face as she smiles down at us.

"I doubt you could do it," Dex scoffs.

Harper manages to put our tent up perfectly in less than five minutes, much to Dex's dismay. I laugh at his embarrassed face as Harper scampers off back to Miles.

"Come on," A kid from our class calls out and walks into the forrest. Everyone follows, arriving at a large field that stretches for miles ahead. 

We all work as a team and set up a camp fire as well as a barbecue. Our teacher cooks us burgers as we split off into our friend groups.

We sit down in a circle as far away from the other students as humanly possible. "It's so pretty out here," Harper marvels, staring at the starry night sky. "Yeah," I mumble, staring at her smooth lips.

"Who wants a burger?" Miles interrupts our chat as he stands up, brushing the grass off his jeans. We all say yes expect Harper, causing Miles to reluctantly walk off towards the barbecue.

We all stare at her, slightly concerned. "What? I'm not hungry, I filled up on Mile's snacks," She smiles, patting her none existent belly. Although I would have liked her to have an actual meal, I feel better knowing she at least ate something.

We all eat our burgers guilty in front of Harper who seems to be content just rambling about nonsense. I finish mine and start to feel that anxious feeling I get when I haven't had a cig in a while. 

Knowing our teachers would never let me smoke in front of them I excuse myself back to the tents, telling the group I'll be back in five minutes. 

I sit on a log outside my tent, staring at the night sky as I inhale the smoke into my lungs.

"Boo!" Someone shouts behind me, actually making me jump. I turn around to see Harper doubled over in laughter. "You should have seen your face!" She chokes out in between giggles. 

"Ha ha you got me," I say stone faced. 

She plops herself next to me, our arms brushing together. "You okay?" She asks sweetly, turning to face me. "Just peachy," I reply, pressing the cig to my mouth.

I chuck it on the floor and stomp it out when Harper starts coughing, something she often does when I smoke directly in her face.

"Sorry," She smiles sheepishly. 

I turn to face her, the moonlight shining down on both of us as we sit in silence. 

She's so pretty.

There I admit it, she's fucking stunning. I've tried to deny it for as long as I could but now that she's looking at me with those ethereal eyes, I can't help but be completely enticed by her gorgeous face.

I can't. I just can't go on like this, pretending that I don't want her, I don't need her.

Before I can even process what I'm doing my lips are crashing into hers.