Arcadian (adj.) idyllically innocent; simple and untroubled by fear or worry.
Harper Flores is the human embodiment of a ray of sunshine.
She's kind, understanding and always willing to put other's needs in front of her own. To the outside world Ha...
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"We need to talk about your eating habits," The nurse says bluntly, inching closer to the side of the bed with her clipboard in hand.
My blood instantly runs cold, my hands shaking slightly as I tuck them under the thin sheets.
My first instinct is to run, deny the truth like I've always done. The thought of Lucian being here and having to hear some of the crazy things I've done just to be a few pounds lighter makes me wish I had sent him out the room.
What if he judges me, what if he realises that I'm more hassle than I'm worth and doesn't want me around him like my mum or what if-
"Ssh it's okay Harper," Lucian's comforting voice says softly, cutting through my pessimistic thoughts.
He takes my shaky hand in his, rubbing small circles with his thumb in an effort to calm me down.
"You collapsed due to malnutrition which is very serious, your body has been denied even the very bare minimum of nutrients it needs to function," She says seriously.
"Is there a reason why you haven't been eating Harper?" The doctor asks softly, concern lacing her voice. I feel Lucian's body tense up beside me, his breathing stilled.
I avoid eye contact, staring down at my lap.
I know there's no use in denying it, She knows, I know, Lucian knows, Carter knows. At this point it's not even a secret anymore but I so desperately want it to be.
People knowing means I'll be forced to change my ways, get better or at least pretend to be.
I don't want people to look at me different or pay extra attention to my eating habits like Carter does because even though I'm miserable it's worth it.
Starving myself is the only semblance of control I have left in my life, the feeling of drinking a bottle of water on an empty stomach or shivering in a warm room just reminds me that despite everything in my life being turned upside down I'll always have power over my body.
I don't want that to be taken away from me.
The doctor sighs, my lack of response clearly giving her all the information she needs. "When is the last time you ate something?" She questions.
"The night I collapsed," I blurt out, hoping my answer was convincing enough to dull her suspicion.
"Yeah? What did you have?" She asks skeptically, clearly testing me. "A burger," I state nonchalantly, maintaining eye contact.
For a second I thought about it, thought about telling the doctor and asking for help but the less rational side of me is desperate to remain in the same familiar routine, deny, deny and deny some more.
"No you didn't," Lucian sighs, his voice pained. My eyes snap towards him, landing on his tired face. I nod frantically, wanting him to believe me.
"You didn't have one at the campfire, you said you were full," He recalls, worry evident in his eyes.
