Yn's pov and thoughts
Pansy and yn cuddle and call asleep soon after
*The next day yn wakes up and pansy is still sleeping so yn slowly gets out of pansy's bed trying to not wake her up
*Yn goes Into the bathroom and closes the door and sits on the floor
(They are so much happier without me here , so maybe I should just leave, tak everything with me , leave no trace of me , so they can move on , Mattheo looks so much happier with Astoria then he ever did with me , Enzo hates me , well almost everyone besides pansy hates me )
(They moved on, so maybe I should to , but something feels like its deterring me from leaving, maybe it's the love I have for this place , maybe it's the love I have for Mattheo , but that won't happen ever again , he hates me , this time I don't think I can change his mind )
*Yn stands up and stares at herself in the mirror
(I'm just a pathetic little girl who should have died a long time ago , I shouldn't even exist, I'm something so unnatural, and now I can't even tell draco who I thought was my brother because it would put his life in danger and he would be even more scared of me then he already is , I don't know why I came back , they were protected while I was gone , when people get near me , I put their life in danger by just being myself, because myself is a girl with an unnecessary amount of power who could kill anyone and is now a blood hungry dog , no one is safe near me , so maybe I should be alone, maybe I was destined to be alone)
*Yn starts crying and falls to the floor
*She digs her nails into her skin
(I don't deserve happiness, I'm a monster, I saw the way they looked at me when I was threatening those Hufflepuff's and they were scared of me , for fucks safe I'm scared of myself , I'm scared of what I can do, and it hurt to think the only people I care about saw me as a monster)
*Yn looks at the time and it's 1 hour to classes
(Fuck! Pansy will be up soon , I don't want her to see me crying)
*Yn wipes her face and walks out of the bathroom, grabs a pack of cigarettes and walk out of her dorm to the astronomy tower
*She walks out and walks up to the astronomy tower , she checks and no one is there so she sits down against the the little ledge surrounding the tower
*Yn grabs a cigarette and lights it with her powers and sticks it in her mouth
*Yn wants to cry harder and harder after each puff of the cigarette and once she finishes her first one she starts lightly crying
(Old me would never smoke, old me knows how bad this is for you, but now it just calms my pain )
*Yn starts crying a bit harder
(Got I hate myself, I hate the monster I turned into ... literally)
*Mattheo walks up and sees yn crying
Mattheo's pov and thoughts
(I feel bad , she is crying her eyes out but she has no reason to cry , she is the one who left , she is the on who left without saying goodbye, she is the one that never loved me )
*Mattheo laughs
*Yn looks over
Mattheo: " this is so pathetic, you have no reason to cry yn "
*Yn looks at him with a numb , cold expression
Yn: " whatever Mattheo "
Mattheo: " your just mad I'm speaking facts "
YOU ARE READING
Dark Secrets (Mattheo x reader )
FanfictionYn Malfoy is draco Malfoy's sister and she is coming to Hogwarts but she is different she has a secret that can get people killed and she gets taken from her last school because "she isn't safe " and her family will do anything to make sure no on...
