with you tonight | teacher gerard way x female reader

9. I Think I Like Him

i woke up in gerard's arms, as his warm breath was hitting the top of my head. i moaned slightly while stretching my back, trying not to move too much.
- morning... - gerard said with a raspy morning voice, and i smiled to myself.
- morning, how did you sleep? - i asked him, as he stretched out.
- awesome, thanks for asking - he said, and i chuckled.
- anyway, we gotta go to school - he added, and i groaned, looking down at my lap.
- ughh. alright - i said angrily, before sitting up straight.

we got dressed, and he drove us to school. the ride was awkward as fuck, as neither of us wanted to break the silence.

time skip

i was in math class with frank. i sat right next to him, deep in my thoughts.
- i think i like him - i told frank, as he widened his eyes at me, he probably couldn't believe what i just said.
- damn girllll.. i thought you just wanted to hook-up with him - he said, sounding fruity as hell. i rolled my eyes, shrugging a little.
- i know, but it just kind of happened.. - i said, as he sighed.
- well either way, you cannot do anything about it, he's older AND he's your teacher. it's unrealistic - he told me, and i groaned loudly in response while rolling my (eyecolor) eyes at him.
- i know, stop making me sadder - i complained, making him shrug.
- sorry, i'm just sayin' - he added, as i sighed. this sucks. and there's nothing i can do about it.

lunch came around, and i told frank i was gonna go for a cigarette. he ate lunch alone, as i had to take a break from everything. i sat down on the grass behind the school and i sighed, putting my head in my hands, trying hard not to cry. but i failed. i don't even know why i'm crying. i should've expected this.

suddenly i felt someone touching my shoulder, and sitting down next to me. i opened my puffy eyes, looking to the side.
- why are you crying? - he said, as i wiped my tears with the sleeve of my blazer.
- i don't know.. - i said queitly, before he hugged me tightly.
- if you ever feel sad, you can always talk to me, you know? - he comforted me, carressing my hair.
- thanks... - i said awkwardly as i didn't know what else to say. we don't know each other for a long time, so this is kind of awkward. after a few minutes of hugging, we pulled away, and made our way towards art class.
- good morning - we said together towards mr way, as he looked up at us.
- lucas, where's your uniform? - mr way asked the blue haired boy, as he didn't have the uniform on. instead he had ripped black skinny jeans, a blink-182 tshirt and some studded bracelets.
- in my house probably - he said, sitting down next to me.
- go to the principal's office. NOW. - he commanded, standing up from his desk, making lucas groan.
- fuck you - he said quite loudly, before storming out. gerard sat back down, focusing on whatever he was doing before. i sighed. it was so awkward. the silence was killing me. fortunately the bell rang after a few seconds, and students filled the room. frank sat where lucas was sitting before, and i smiled at him.

time skip

the lesson was finally over, but gerard told me to stay. i waited till all the students left, and then i turned around to face him.
- what's up? - i said, as he sighed while putting his head in his hands. i got a bit nervous and worried from not knowing what was his deal, so i tapped my foot on the ground to try and relax.
- listen y/n. we've got to talk about.. that incident in that room back there. - he said, sounding very serious, as he pointed to the storage room with his thumb. i gulped, crossing my arms at my chest. my heart started beating faster, and i was so scared.
- w-what about it? - i stuttered out, as he came closer to me.
- listen, it was a mistake. everything was a mistake. even the sleepover that we just had. i am your teacher, and it must stay that way. i do not feel anything towards you, you just... i don't know. somehow you made me think that maybe i like you. but i don't. so please, delete my number, and from now on - i want us to be nothing more than a teacher and a student - he said, as i felt my heart breaking piece by piece with every single next word he said. i felt tears forming in my eyes, as my breathing got unsteady.
- a-are you being serious right n-now? - i said, as my throat burned, and i literally just wanted to cry.
- yes, very serious y/n. you may now leave the classroom - he said, unlocking the door, and grabbing his stuff. i just stood there. dumbfounded. he broke my fucking heart. i thought he liked me. i liked him. why did he do that? what did i do wrong?

i felt the tears that were forming in my eyes falling, as i literally just started sobbing. i turned around and left the classroom, not wanting to see that fucker again.
i hate him. i hate myself. i hate everything.

TW: SELF HARM‼️

after a long walk back home, i took out my razor. i know it sounds silly, but it helps. i did a few deep cuts, before putting back the razor and wiping the blood with my little towel. i cried myself to sleep that night. i guess i'm just not good enough.