11. So... What's Your Decision?

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max and i are dating.

a month or two have passed, and i totally forgot about mr way. max transferred to art class, and it was way more fun with him. i love him so much. he means so much to me.

we were now sitting in art class, as he held my cold (pale/dark) hand under the desk.
- i love you - i whispered to him quietly, earning a kiss on my cheek from him. i could feel gerard staring at us. i don't know why he would care, he basically told me to fuck off, so what is his fucking deal? i slightly furrowed my eyebrows, trying to stop my thoughts.
- i love you too - max whispered back, smiling at me.

soon mr way gave us work to do, and as i was about to start painting — he called my name.
- y/n l/n - he said, as i looked up at him from my canvas, widening my eyes.
- yes? - i said, as he sighed.
- could you please stay after class? - he said, and my heart stopped beating. i gulped. stress filled my whole body. i couldn't say a single word, so i just nodded. i looked over at frank, and he looked at me worriedly, before carressing my back.
- hey, it's gonna be fine, don't stress about it - he comforted me, as i tried to calm down. i was so close to having a panic attack, it was crazy. i sighed, before finally getting to work. i drew a big white rose, it had blood all over it, and honestly; i liked the drawing. i drew it in this... cartoony comic book style, and i loved it.
soon mr way started going around the class, praising us all. when he was finished with everyone, he told us that we had free time until the bell rings.

i just talked to frank and max about a band i recently found out, and they told me they would listen to their music. soon the bell rang, and i started stressing again. students were leaving the room, and i felt anxiety raise in me.
- bye y/n, please tell us everything later - frank said, and max kissed me goodbye. and they left. i was here alone with gerard. fuck. he locked the door, before turning around and leaning on it. he crossed his arms at his chest, rolling the sleeves of his shirt.
"he's so fucking hot..."  i thought to myself. wait. what the fuck am i thinking? i have a boyfriend.
- y/n.. i have to tell you this, because it haunts my mind everyday - he started speaking, before putting his head in his hands.
- i miss you. i miss you so fucking much - he said, as his voice broke slightly. i widened my eyes, as i noticed tears forming in his. i remained silent, cause I didn't have anything to say to him.
- ...please say something - he said, his voice was breaking so much from his crying. i didn't say anything still. the silence was loud, and the only thing breaking it was gerard's slow and quiet sobs.
- please - he said louder, as he came closer to me. he grabbed me by my waist, pulling me closer to him. i looked down, as i just couldn't look at him in that state.
- i-i have a boyfriend gerard, you know that. - i said, as he put his fingers under my chin, making me look up at him. his eyes were puffy and red, and he had dried up tears on his cheeks.
- please... y/n.. you mean so much to me - he whispered, as i just frowned at him.
- i'm sorry, but i can't - i said, as he broke into tears again. i sighed, before pushing him away, unlocking the door and opening it.
- I'm sorry. - i apologized for the last time, before leaving the classroom. i immediately texted frank about the whole situation, and he left me on read.

time skip

now that i think about it — i miss him too. i miss his smell, his laughter whenever i said something funny, the way he would always scratch his nose whenever he was embarrassed or just shy, the way he bit his lips while looking into my eyes, and so much more..
fuck. I'm going to regret this. i went into my contacts, and clicked on gerard. I didn't delete his number, i just couldn't.

(i think you can already remember how this works)

listen gerard
i thought about this, and i made a decision.
can we meet today?

yeah, sure
when?

maybe around 6 pm?

alright, sounds good to me
where do you wanna meet

maybe at the park next to school?

okay
see ya

byeee :)

i sighed, looking at the ceiling in my dark room. i hope i won't regret this.

time skip

i was laying in my bed, watching a show and eating oreos (or something else if you don't like them), when i suddenly remembered that i had to get going. it was already 5:47 pm, and I didn't even change my clothes.
i sighed, before turning off my tv, and dressing up.
i wore a black misfits tshirt and (make an outfit in your style). i added some accessories, and took my bag before leaving my house. i locked the door, before heading to the park. i decided to smoke, so i took out a cigarette and lit it with my lighter. i slowly smoked it until i was at the entrance of the park and i took my phone out to text gerard.

hey
where are you?

i'm gonna be there in a second

alright
see ya

see ya

i turned off my phone, waiting impatiently for him to come. and he did. he ran towards me, out of breath, and kind of sweaty as his raven hair fell perfectly on his face. i actually had to held myself back from gasping at the sight of him. he looked so... punk. he didn't even look his age, and he definetely did not look like a teacher. he looked like an angsty teenage boy around my age, who was nerdy and didn't talk to girls (LMAOOO). it was both scary and hot. his hair wasn't styled back as always, instead it was laying down on his face, messy and greasy but in a good way. he had a black motorhead tshirt with their album "bastards" on it, a black leather jacket, some old looking jeans paired with a belt that had a silver bat buckle and black converses.
- hey - i greeted him while awkwardly waving my hand at him, as he panted quickly.
- hey - he said, brushing the single strand of hair that was laying on his face. we just stood there in an uncomfortable silence.
- let's go for a walk - he suggested after a while, and i just nodded in response. we walked in silence, as i just observed the view in front of us. the sky was pretty dark and cloudy, red and yellow leaves were moving slowly down to the ground with the wind, and all i could hear were crickets.
- so... what's your decision? - he asked me, as i looked over at him. i stared into his beautiful hazel eyes, and i felt hypnotized.
- well, you know I've got a boyfriend.. but i think we should be friends. maybe something will come out of it, but i want to take it slow - i explained, as he just hummed while nodding.
- alright, i respect your decision - he told me, as i smiled at him warmly.
- thanks gerard - i said, putting my cold hands into the pockets of my jacket.
- no biggie (ew what the fuck) - he said back, before he stopped walking and he stood still.
- wanna go to mcdonalds? - he added, and i excitedly jumped up and down like a kid, which made gerard giggle.
- YES!! - i shouted quite loudly, as he gave me his hand. i hesitated at first, but eventually i held it.

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