with you tonight | teacher gerard way x female reader

12. Go Fuck Yourself.

gerard drove me back home, and i was so tired. i immediately walked to my room, closing the door behind me, and sighing. i layed in my bed, with my hands on my head. everything is so tiring. i sighed again, before taking my phone out of my pocket, i looked for any new messages, but i didn't get any. i furrowed my brows in confusion, before dialing max's number. i had to wait a few seconds before he finally answered.
- what took you so long to answer - i said, as i heard him groan.
- nothing - he said, and i could easily tell he was annoyed by me.
- okay... well um.. i just wanted to tell you about what happened after school - i started speaking, as max sighed.
- you don't have to tell me, frank already did - he said quickly, making me nod to myself.
- oh.. okay. - i said, not really knowing what else to say.
- is there anything else you wanna talk about? - he asked more aggressively, as i widened my eyes. "the fuck?" i thought to myself, before shaking my head.
- yeah, me and gerard are friends again - i told him, and i immediately could hear frank speak in the background, but i couldn't figure out what he said.
- you and him are WHAT again? - max asked aggressively, before laughing to himself sarcastically.
- ...we're friends? - i repeated myself, confused by his reaction.
- fuck you - he said coldly, before hanging up. i felt an ache in my chest, as i looked at my phone, biting my bottom lip. i was stressed. i decided to text frank.

what's going on?
hello?
answer me

go fuck yourself.

"what the fuck is wrong with them?" i thought to myself, angry with their reactions.

why are y'all mad

did you forget what he did to you?

well no i didn't
but he fucking apologized, so what's the problem?
it's not like i'm gonna cheat on max with him or something like that
if that's what is bothering you

you're fucking unbelievable
fuck off

k
read

i sighed, as i felt tears forming in my eyes, and everything surroudning me became foggy. i started sobbing quietly, hugging my pillow tight. "what did i do wrong?" i kept on repeating this question in my head, as i just couldn't handle this anymore. i stood up, and went straight to a big shelf in my room, i hid my razor and small towel under my "siamese dream" cd by the smashing pumpkins. i sighed, before taking them with me and sitting down on my bed. i looked at my healed scars, before cutting over them. i cried violently, as i just couldn't feel relief. i put the razor and towel back to it place, before going to sleep.

i woke up, my whole wrist covered in dried up blood. i sighed, putting a wristband on it, as i sat in my bed, sighing loudly. fuck this shit.

i looked over at my phone, to notice that i had a missed call from gerard - and he actually called me only a few minutes ago. i shrugged, before calling him back. i waited, as i listened to the ringing in my phone.

hello?

hey, what's up?

nothing much..

why'd you call me, huh?

oh i just wanted to talk to you. i missed your voice..

i could feel butterflies flying around in my stomach, but i quickly brushed that feeling off.

i missed your voice too i said, giggling quietly.

so, how's your day going?

i just woke up, but honestly? it's bad

huh? why? did something happen?

...yeah. frank and max are kinda... mad at me.

oh.. well i'm so sorry. i hope things get better between the three of you. if you don't mind me asking, what happened?

...ugh. it's such a long story. but basically they're mad at me for being friends with you again

...uh. you told them about us?

yeah, don't worry though. i promise they would never tell anyone about this.

i hope so.... uh. i have to go now, talk to you later, yeah?

yeah, bye

TW: stupid behavior, suicide‼️😭🔥

and he hung up. i sighed. why do i fuck everything up? I'm such a fucking failure. even my fucking parents hate me, why don't i just kill myself? i think everyone would feel better. oh for fucks sakes girl, shut up. you're overthinking. it's not that deep, really.

time skip

it was sunday, and still no one talked to me. literally, no one. not even frank, or max, or gerard. i felt so lonely. i spent the whole weekend thinking about them. i think i just lost everything.

fuck this shit.