Walls | ShubIsh

Sad Beautiful Tragic

Ishan just stared at Shubman with all adoration. No, there was no moonlight coming from the window but still, the beauty in front of him felt equally magical. Ishan just thought that "Isn't it weird people try to associate all temporary factors of nature with their loved ones? but I just want to associate him with all the universal truths."

And, just like a universal truth that night also came to an end. But for once neither Ishan nor Shubman wanted to face the light. Probably people were right, relationships like them do look more beautiful in the dark.

As for Shubman, when he woke up. The first thing he felt was some strong yet fragile arms wrapped around him. At first, he absorbed this familiarity but now he was panicking. He tried to blame it on his dizzy mind but deep down he knew that it was not the incoherent mind, it was the pent-up emotion of not getting this warmth for the past couple of months. He knew he was the one who asked Ishan to stay. But Ishan came into his room in the first place.

"Oh, oh, oh, What am I gonna do now?"
"Oh, shit."
"This can't be happening."

"Why are screaming in my ears?" Ishan said annoyed.

It took a moment for Shubman to realize that he was saying those loudly. But Ishan was still in the zone that it was their usual morning cuddle session. So he just nuzzled his head in the crook of Shubman's neck.

Shubman allowed himself to sink in the moment. But God knows what happened to him, he pushed Ishan away. A little too harshly for his liking.

Ishan was shocked at first but took some to process all this and when he did he just mentally laughed at his fate.

"Listen, Shubi. I can explain." Ishan tried to sound as much as rational as possible.

"Explain what. How did you decide to cheat on me after 3 years of being together? Or you've just fallen out of love? And Oh another recent shit. How you dare to show up in my room pretending that you care about me." Right now Shubman didn't care how much the actual confrontation of Ishan would hurt. He let his imagination end their story. But now he needed a real closure from Ishan.

"I do care for you, Shubi." That's what Ishan managed to get out of his mouth.

"Oh, really, then I am really sorry can't tell which one is your real emotion and which one is pretending Ishan."

Ishan remained silent.

"I could do you one favour though. I could talk to Anushka Bhabi on your behalf and see if she could get you any role in acting cause for fuck's sake Ishan, I can't even distinguish between your truths and lies."Shubman said laughingly through his tears. He did not know whether cracking this joke helped him to not care or accelerated his pain 10 times more.

" Don't you think I deserved to know what I did wrong and why wasn't I enough?"It was a mere whisper from Shubman.

Ishan was prepared for all the yelling, hatred, and disgust he deserved to get. But this was totally worse. Worse. Worse. Shubman thinking low of himself. How could he? Doesn't he have a thing called common sense? Then Ishan remembered how insecure Shubman could get at certain times. He had witnessed a proper picture in the early days of their relationship.

"Listen, It was all my fault. I was umm... stupid umm.. like very stupid. And don't you dare to think low of yourself? You are enough."

"You fear you'll get tired of someone as immature and naive as me in the future? I must admit Ishan you were the one who taught me to love myself but now you're the reason I can't even look in the mirror thinking I'm not enough."

Ouch that hurt, Ishan thought (I wish I could just hold him right here and kiss him until shut his stupid mouth and curse at him for talking like an idiot)

"No, Shubman you've to understand that the problem is not yo. It's me. I am the one who fucked up here. You can accuse me as much as you can but not yourself. "

"Then why did you cheat?'

Ishan's pov

Cheat? Oh shit, yes I forgot the part of the script in which I cheated on him. Right, right.

" Listen, I was drunk. I had a lot on my table. You know how my performance dipped on the field. I needed to get some pressure off my shoulders. It was basically a one-time thing. See, I am not worth the tears Shubman. You got to move on. Please."

I swear I could kill myself right now. Does he want to kill me? I'll be more than happy if he Does. Then again, I don't deserve to be happy.

"I'm sorry. Really Really sorry. I swear you deserve better than me"

Neutral Pov

Shubman just sat there saying nothing.

"I promise it was best for you, your family, your career everything. "

"Are you trying to tell that to
yourself or me?"

"I.. I need to go.Here's your medicine. If you need something just call me or Shreyash anybody.. I need to go. "

Ishan escaped from Shubman's room. Yes, you can call that an escape. He wasn't sure how long he could continue this facade without breaking down.