𝐓𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐎 || 𝐀𝐧𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧 𝐒𝐤𝐲𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐞𝐫

Chapter 11 - This is Taboo

The day's events had left me emotionally exhausted and I opted out of dinner altogether much to Padme's dismay. Instead, I had hidden away within the recesses of my bedchamber before eventually retiring to the solitude of the living room. It was quiet and no one would disturb me here. A sigh escaped my mouth for the fifth time in the hour I had been sitting here on the sofa, my eyes glued to the fire crackling in the grate. What had I been thinking? Almost letting him kiss me like that? I'd gotten in way over my head here with Anakin.

It was never meant to be like this, it was supposed to be a simple mission. I was never supposed to develop an attachment...and certainly not to a fellow Jedi, my very own best friend.

Obi-Wan's self-righteous voice rang in my head like a bell.

"You've made a commitment to the Jedi Order, a commitment not easily broken..."

Although the words then had been meant for Anakin, they now applied to the both of us in a far different manner than I had ever thought possible. Yet...how did Anakin truly feel about me? He desired me, I knew that much. But desire only went so far. Many a human and alien alike had desired me but none had ever taken a true interest in me, truly knew me as Anakin did. Rolling my eyes at my own stupid chain of thoughts, I scoffed at myself. What was I even thinking? No matter if he did feel something deeper for me, neither of us could pursue it.

As always, I sensed him before I heard him. But unlike all the other times, I refused to acknowledge his presence. He lingered in the doorway, unmoving, as he waited for me to speak. Minutes passed before finally, he was the one to break the silence.

"Jet...why have you been avoiding me?" he asked the question bluntly, his tone low despite the fact that Padme had retired for the night long ago.

Still staring into the dancing amber flames, I replied quietly, "You know why..."

"You've walked away from me twice," he stated.

"You've tried to kiss me twice." I shot back, keeping my voice as emotionless as possible.

Anakin let out a nearly inaudible sigh before slowly walking over to the crimson sofa, sinking down into the velvet cushions beside me. I thanked my lucky stars I was wearing my usual Jedi tunic once again and hadn't accepted Padme's earlier offer of yet another of her gorgeous gowns. Otherwise, my skin might be touching Anakin's right now due to his nearness - I couldn't handle that. As it was, I could feel the heat from his body and it was...intoxicating.

"From the moment I met you, all those years ago, a day hasn't gone by when I haven't thought of you, Jetta," his voice was soft in the stillness as he took a breath before continuing, "...and now that I'm with you again, I'm in agony... The closer I get to you, the worse it gets..."

Slowly, I shifted in my seat to create a few inches of distance from him. It didn't help, however, that I was feeling the exact same way as he was... A sigh escaped his mouth as he shook his head, anxiety clear in his expression.

"...but everything has changed. At least it has for me. For so long, I thought I was in love with Padme...but the whole time...I've been in love with you, Jetta,"

A sharp gasp ripped from my throat and my chest heaved with the impact of this emotional revelation. Turning my wide brown eyes on him, shock coursed through me. How could this be?

"I...I don't, um...I don't know what to say... How long have you known this?" I stumbled over my words, settling on a question.

He bit his lip in thought, causing a tsunami of butterflies to erupt in my stomach at the simple action. His cerulean eyes flicked to mine in the dark of the night.