The Boy Next Door

Chapter 15 - Nipping the Bud

Alfie's POV

The doors slide closed. I'm not the one to cry, but suddenly out of no where, I feel my tears falling. I love her. I don't want to loose her. What's wrong with me? What have I done? To an extent, I just want to hide away from every one. I'm the one that looks stupid in this situation-- not Jade or Zoe.

Jade. Or Zoe.

So it's all out in the open now.

I walk back to the room I shared with Jade-- or didn't share-- anymore. I guess.

My footsteps seem heavy as I trudge myself back to the room.

A part of me is saying, Alfie, just run after her. Catch her. Explain yourself. Apologize. Only, the problem is... I don't know how.

While that's going on, another part of me is saying, is it really worth it? There's this saying that goes... If you really loved the first, there would never be a second... Or something like that. If I really do love Jade like I think I do, why did I tell Zoe that--- It hurts my brain just thinking about it.

"You know, I can hear your feet shuffling, meaning that you're pacing back and forth." A familiar voice notes. "With that said, I'm just assuming that you left the door unlocked, so I'm just letting my self in." At the sight of me, he says, "Whoop. There it is. The sight of a quarter-life crisis. But in your case, the stakes are certainly raised a little bit higher than most, aren't they, mate?" Dan laughs to himself.

"What are you doing here" I say monotonously. I don't mind that Dan is here. At all. He's a good friend of mine, and Jade's--- all our friends really.

"Come little heartbreaker, sit with me and let Uncle Dan help you out." He sits on the couch. "Okay this is awkward. I was supposed to enter this conversation lightening the situation but I see that it's not helping much."

"No. No it's not." I sit on the couch next to Dan. "So, why the sudden appearance?"

"It's kind of weird when you pass one of your best friends in the lobby and she's suddenly become a mute." Dan looks at me, "I'm also aware that other things have been said."

"So everyone knows what I said at the airport?" The palm of my hand meets the base of my forehead. My hands slide up, gripping strands of my hair in stress. This. Is a disaster.

"For fucks sake, no. Jade was just upset. No one was talking to her as well. Jade, Phil, Carrie and I are all in a group chat. So, Jade notified us via text message." He paused for a moment, "But while she has us, and apparently Zoe has... More than most people... I feel as if you have no one to run to. So, here I am, being a good friend."

I laugh a little, "Thanks, Dan."

"Now. I'm going to ask you a series of questions, Alfie. We're going to play a little game."

"Okay."

"So. I ask, and you answer. You answer honestly, you win. I think you answer with dishonesty, or your answer doesn't come from the heart, then I win. Winner gets a hot chocolate. Deal?"

"Deal." I nodd.

"Okay, let's hope you win because I don't work out and two hot chocolates would lead me into my sugar coma and beginning of an anime marathon."

"I can just drink yours for you, Dan." I smile. He always knew how to cheer people up.

"No. That would defeat the whole purpose of the prize. I'd still get two though because in reality, I know that you're not going to answer all of these questions honestly. So, I might as well not even make the hot chocolates if I'm going to win them any way." He takes a breath, "But let's get started!"

I nod my head, "I hope we're getting somewhere with this."

"Question. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"

Ummmm. Where DO I see myself in 5 years? "I don't know. I mean because of YouTube, my life has been pretty unpredictable. I thought I would have gotten some professional job after Uni. But, here I am, a day before VidCon, waiting for VidCon."

"You're avoiding the question."

I sigh, "I guess I'd like to be married, have a kid, or at least have one baking in the oven."

"Okay. Who do you want to marry?"

"Emma Watson hopefully." I bite my lip.

Dan looks at me, "Okay, realistically."

"I don't know."

"Do you think she's in your life yet?"

"I don't know."

"Okay. I guess I have to be a little bit more harsh with you. Do you see yourself in 5 years sharing a house with Zoe or Jade? Getting married and having kids?"

"I-I don't know."

"Why don't you know?"

"Because I can't choose."

"Then don't."

"What?"

"There's already problems. If you can't choose, then don't. Don't force yourself to be with someone. People are already hurt. You don't need to escalate problems by making a decisions. Jade or Zoe? Every one wants to know. But instead, you should say. I choose Alfie. You choose yourself. Leave yourself time to think. If it's meant to be with one of them, then everything will fall into place. Don't stress about it. If you do, this will be one hell of a week for all of us. You have fans out there that are wanting to meet the happy-go-lucky YouTubers. If only they knew how we are.. We're not always happy... But, it'll hell to be happy if you just let the stress subside. Tell Zoe and Jade you need time to yourself but you don't want to stay away from them. If one of them moves on, then one of them moves on. If you move on, then you move on. It's life."

"You're right."

"I know I am." There's a moment of silence. "Damn it I should have made this a special episode of Internet Support Group."

"Of course." I laughed at Dan. "Of course you would think of that now."