The Day Hope was Murdered

5. Muted Words

// Chapter 5: Muted Words \\

By the time the next person has started speaking, Thomas's eyes are still on mine. I offer him a reassuring smile and then direct my attention to whomever is speaking.

So, Thomas literally just gave a freaking five-minute speech about his depression. FIVE MINUTES. When every one elses' had only been a mere ten seconds, maybe more, his was FIVE FREAKING MINUTES. I swear, my eyes started to tear up while he was speaking. Who knew the mute guy would be talkative. That was at least the last thing I would have expected.

But anyways, I'm so sad for him now. He doesn't deserve all the shit that has been thrown at him. However, now that I think of it, none of us deserve all the shit we go through on a day to day basis. For instance:

I haven't done anything wrong to deserve a murdered sister and a now broken family.

And then, Oliver definitely doesn't deserve being punished for a crime he never committed.

Neither does the guy who did commit the crime, Hope's murderer, deserve to be walking around in freedom.

Whoever said that life's fair was wrong. Life is definitely not fair and hearing every one speak right now about their shitty lives only cements this idea further into my brain.

The truth of the matter is that life sucks.

Not like a vacuum cleaner or some little kid drinking through a straw. Rather, life is emburdened upon all of us by the sperm of Satan himself.

Some people get the cheap way out, but the majority of us don't. Unfortunately, life on this Earth will never ever be fair. I'm clinging on to the hope that when we all die, we will be rightly judged for our actions on Earth. That we'll have a fair trial.

But alas, Hope is now dead, and this hope in me is dying out as well. It's hard to think about the benefits of the long term, when you've got to deal with the constant battles of every day life.

Before I knew it, the boomerang had come back to me, and it's my turn to speak. I start out nervously "Hi." I wave my hand to no one in particular. "My name is Leila Wade and my therapist thinks I'm depressed, but I'm not. I just hate life because for some stupid reason, it hates me back."

I look up to see Thomas looking at me with calculating eyes. I guess it makes sense why he would be confused. In school, I used to be that super happy girl without a care in the world. He's probably never seen this side of me. Well, ditto to him.

Michael, the leader of the group who is now sitting on his own mat speaks up. "Would you like to expound on that further, Leila?"

Heck no. "Nope, I'm good."

Michael pauses a second as if thinking of what he will say. "Okay, let me rephrase that. What reason has life given you to hate it?"

As soon as he says that, I immediately think 'Everything. My sister was murdered and my family doesn't give a crap about me. They probably wish I was the one murdered. The fact that I have to sit here and listen to people drone on and on about their shitty lives. It's all only making me feel more negative.' But I keep my thoughts to myself and instead reply. "It just hasn't treated me kindly in several aspects."

"We understand that. But what specifically has it done? There's no way we can help you here if we don't even know why you're here."

It's obvious that he's getting annoyed, however, I'm not going to open up to some random strangers. It surprises me he doesn't know what happened, as it was all over our small town's newspaper. Either everyone here are idiots or they know what happened and are just too afraid to bring it up. "Well, I don't even want to be here in the first place. Mr. Harrison is just stupid and-"