Caged

[Thirteen]

It's been a whole two weeks since my first outing with Jace. For the whole two weeks I've been a frenzy of mixed emotions. I found myself liking Jace much more than I had ever intended to. Much more than I would have ever expected.

I'd seen him twice since we went to the cafe. Both times were not coincidences. We had actually made plans with each other to meet up and hang out for a little while. We didn't do much, and thankfully what we did do wasn't in any way related to what people would do when they are on a date. We were simply two friends catching up and spending time together.

Each day we hung out involved a whole lot of coffee and a whole new batch of random questions. Let's just say I found out some things about Jace that I would never have expected him to be associated with. He was in a band, mind you they only played in the garage, but still, it was cool.

Along with these days that actually turned out to be quite fun and refreshing, there was always the thought in the back of my mind that someone was going to see us together and completely blow it out of proportion. Make it look like much more than it actually was, and possibly get us both fired.

I hadn't even told Jaxon and he's my best friend. Who knew who could possibly over hear that conversation. Plus, if Jax knew, there was a pretty good chance that he would get in huge trouble. For simply knowing about it and not reporting it immediately.

My mind has constantly been running through the possibilities of what could happen, who could see us and what they would do when they found out. My heart was constantly racing in fear of being caught at each moment of the day. Even when I was safe in my bedroom doing an assignment, no where near Jace, I was constantly looking out the window and over my shoulder expecting to see someone watching and waiting for something that they could report.

It was completely exhausting and stressful, which has been putting me in a pretty sour mood practically all the time. That was never a mood that one should have around my mother. She was the epitome of sour moods, but heaven forbid someone else be in a sour mood around her. Even my neighbours were concerned with how exhausted and worried I looked.

I had to lie to them too. Giving them some lame excuse about bad dreams and a heavy load of Uni work. I was starting to lie constantly. I couldn't even tell Jax where I had been on Saturday after work.

The whole thing was dizzying. I was only reminded of it again as the houses raced past in a dizzying blur on my way to work. Jax had picked me up and so far I had been silent the whole ride. Out of the corner of my eye I could see him glancing over at me every now and then.

It was only another five minutes before we reaching the staff parking area behind our work building. I decided that it was about time I actually attempted to engage Jax in some sort of conversation. "How's Mitch?" I asked, turning to face him.

With a small shrug, he shut off the engine and got out of the car. "I wouldn't know," he said. I could barely hear him from inside the car so I got out as well. "We aren't together so we haven't really spoken."

"What? You broke up?" I definitely didn't expect him to say that. I didn't think I had missed that much while I was in my own little world of sneaking around and being paranoid.

"I wouldn't really call it breaking up, we weren't officially together," he replied in an even voice. Typical Jax, not affected by this in the least. 

He might not seem to be affected by it, but I still felt horribly guilty for not being there for him. "I'm sorry Jax. If I had known I would have been over your place in a flash."

"I know baby girl, it's fine. I didn't tell you so how could you possibly have known."

Well maybe if I had actually payed attention and acted like a best friend should, I would have known, I thought to myself. "But still," I said. "You're my best friend, I should have noticed something was up."

"That's the thing, Ash. There isn't 'something up'. It was mutual." He locked up the car, which had been cleaned I noticed on the way here, and went in through the back entrance to the store with me following closely behind. 

The locker room was empty so we were free to sit down and continue our conversation in private. "Mutual?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I mean, when we weren't having sex or going to the club we didn't have anything to do, or talk about. Didn't see the point in letting it go on really."

It was sad really. I was really hoping that they would last. At least for a few months. That way Jax could see that a normal relationship that lasted longer than two weeks was better than he thought it was. I was worried that he would be like this for a long time to come and by the time he grew out of it he would think that there was really no point."It's a shame though, I really liked him. Besides," I said. "It was your longest relationship. You're such a man whore Jax." 

When I started laughing softly at his expression he whacked me playfully on the arm. "Just because you're jealous. You seriously need to get laid baby girl."

"I do not!" I retorted defensively. 

"Oh yes you do. Honestly, soon you're going to be so desperate that you would even sleep with Jace," he chuckled.

I frowned at him immediately. "Girls don't have to be desperate to sleep with him you know." 

The look on Jaxon's face reminded me that he didn't know anything about what was going on with me hanging out with Jace. My sudden defensiveness would be completely weird to him. Great, the filter between my brain and mouth malfunctioned again.

Watching what I say and how I act is just another thing I have to add onto my long list of things to be careful about. Who knew what I would blurt out to Jax, or even Rosie, one day. Then I would be in huge trouble and so would Jace. I knew Jax wouldn't tell, but Rosie would.

"You know I don't like it when people are nasty to him," I said in an attempt at a cover up. "People are always bullying him and saying stuff like that. He's a nice guy and I just don't think he deserves to be bullied the way he is."

Thankfully he seemed to accept my explanation with no question. It was bittersweet. On one hand, I was grateful I didn't have to explain anything, but on the other hand I hated lying to him. 

As we walked out to the front to start working he started up a conversation with me about Uni before we had to split ways and complete our separate tasks. He was great with helping me with my work and assignments. I have no idea why he didn't just enrol in a course himself. He would complete it in a breeze.

He truly was my best friend and was always there for me. Which is why I hated lying to him and keeping such a huge secret from him. I didn't care that I was lying to Rosie, or Micah, or Jenny or even my mum, they weren't there for me like he was and I felt like I was betraying him. 

We always told each other everything, and now because I've started hanging out with someone that I really shouldn't be, I was keeping almost everything from him. I tried my best not to interact with Jace any more than was necessary. I didn't want to make Jax suspicious. It would be great to have someone to talk about it though. 

Unfortunately, today was the day that Jaxon finish earlier than I did. Not only did that mean dealing with my co-workers alone, but it meant I had to catch the bus home. I tried my best to keep my mind on the work, but it was really hard. The worries just kept flooding back into the front of my mind, distracting me and making me jumpy and suspicious.

I managed to avoid much interaction with Jace until there was only an hour left of my shift. He came from his office in the back and walked right up to me, not even bothering to make it look discreet. Yet, here I was keeping secrets from the person I loved most in the world.

"I'm planning to call in sick tomorrow. You should do the same thing," he said as if he were telling me the sky was blue. "We'll meet up at the cafe and chill at the beach for a bit."

"Won't that be a little suspicious, Jace?" I asked. Surely someone would figure out that something was going on if we both called in sick on the exact same day. I really didn't need anything else to stress about right now.

"No, there's some sort of bug going around right now, so just use that excuse," he said before walking away.

I guess I'm calling in sick tomorrow. 

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V o t e | C o m m e n t | F o l l o w

~Alyssa