Caged

[Sixteen]

These past two weeks have actually been quite lonely. Apart from when my job made it necessary, I haven't spoken to Jace since he accused me of being horrible and ignoring his text messages. I hadn't even spent much time with Jax. Work, and maybe one or two nights during the last two weeks being the only time that we actually spent time together.

He had gotten so used to me telling him that I already had something planned when he asked me to hang out, that he now didn't even bother asking most of the time. Which made me feel guilty, but unwanted at the same time.

It wasn't fair of me to feel unwanted though. After all, it was in fact entirely my fault. It made me feel horrible for possibly making him feel that way when I backed out of plans we had made.

This morning when he picked me up from work, in an attempt to make us both feel better, I had asked him to bring a bunch of movies over to my place and we'd spend some times together. Thankfully, he agreed and started rattling off a list of new movies he had bought. We would probably need to clear out an entire week just to be able to watch them all.

Right now though, I was getting myself ready to go to the beach and do the weekly shopping. There were a few sales on this week, so I should be able to afford more than usual.

As for my decision to go to the beach, well, there's two sides of that decision. If I wanted to partially lie, I would just tell people that I needed somewhere familiar to relax. I had my Harry Potter book in my backpack, enough loose change to buy myself a coffee, and a head full of memories. Memories of my father taking me to the beach. I had enough of those to last me a lifetime, and it would be good to think of him properly for the first time in a while.

There was a noter side to the truth though. Deep down, in the back of my mind, I was hoping that I would see Jace there. Even though I was reluctant to admit it to myself, I missed his company. I had been telling the truth a couple of weeks ago when I told him that I was starting to really like him. It wasn't much different now to be honest. That's one thing that sucks when you start to really like and care about someone. You forgive them too easily without even meaning to.

I was finally ready to go, and knowing that my mum wasn't going to be home tonight, I didn't bother tidying up the house. For the first time in a very long time, I was going to spend my entire day like a normal person my age would; Going to work, relaxing at the beach, and going shopping.

As I stepped out into the blazing heat and saw the content waves of heat roll off the surface of the road, and various cars that were parked on the street, I congratulated myself for remembering to bring a few bottle of water with me.

It was the hot days like this that had me moaning and groaning about my desperate needs for my own car. The walks were refreshing, but the heat was exhausting, and the sweat rolling down my back didn't feel pleasant at all. I always had the hope that the sun blaring onto my skin would give my pale complexion even the smaller tinge of colour. Of course it never happened though. Instead, my skin went painfully read, peeled off and only left more freckles to add to the collection that had already accumulated over the years.

The one thing that the heat didn't deter, was my want, and need, for a nice hot coffee. the fresh coffee scent was almost overwhelming as I stepped into the crowded cafe. No doubt that most of the people inside were only there for the air conditioning. Even the teenagers had resorted to the cafe, instead of the beach across the road.

Despite the slightly cool breeze that pushed against me on my way here, I was still very flushed and sweaty. When I reached the counter and ordered my large mocha, I took a few napkins and discreetly wiped the sweat off of my face.

For the very first time since i started buying my coffee from here, I wasn't shouting in my mind, telling them to hurry up. In fact, I was actually hoping that they would take their time. The air conditioning was lovely, and helped my body cool down enough so that I didn't faint. The water at the beach looked very inviting, but I was definitely not looking forward to the wave of heat that would hit me as soon as I stepped out of the cafe doors.