Caged

[Fifteen]

So far, my first night of baby sitting has gone pretty well. I mean, the baby hasn't been injured or starved, so I call that a success. It's been about three hours, and she has slept for about two of those hours. I have gotten so much of my uni work done that I will more than likely be finished by the time Sandy gets home.

The house was so quiet and large, it felt like I had more room to work and think. If I were to work in the living room at my house, there's no way that I would get much of it done. Especially not with my mother hovering around and constantly asking me to do things. 

She doesn't know about my new job yet. I'm sure she'll find out eventually, but right now it was a secret. I hadn't seen much of her in the last week, I've been spending so much time alternating days between Jax and Jace that I was barely home. Whenever I was home though, I was getting in trouble for something. Whether it be the t-shirt she wanted to wear not being washed, or her not being satisfied with the dinner that I had made her. 

Jax knows about the job of course. That's something that I wasn't afraid to tell him. He was worried about me tiring myself out, but was happy for me anyway. He knew how much I needed the money, and although he was more than happy to give it to me, he knew I would never take it from him unless it was absolutely necessary. 

The fact that my mum had no clue about the baby sitting, meant that she also had no clue about the extra fifty dollars I was receiving a week. I wouldn't tell her about it. That would be reserved for emergencies only, and a little bit of extra food for the week. She hasn't done the shopping for years so she would probably just think that prices were getting lower instead of higher. 

My hopes of her becoming her old self again were slowly going down the drain. She has a new boyfriend now. I'm not happy about it at all, but there's nothing I can do about it. He doesn't help with her drinking and smoking at all. In fact, he encourages her to do it. Of course, he doesn't have money to support her habits so I'm still forking out the money for it.

One of these days I will pluck up enough courage to tell her no. I know I will. I'm just waiting for the right time, giving her more time to try and see how bad she's getting for herself. Maybe I should take her out one day so she can see the mothers on the street interacting with their children, or maybe bring a movie home from work that will show her how wrong things are between us.

For now though, I need to focus on myself, my work, my job and my friends. Jax still doesn't know that I've been spending time with Jace, and it's getting harder and harder to keep it a secret from him. Best friends don't keep secrets from each other, but I feel like I have no other choice.

I had received a few texts from both Jace and Jaxon, but seeing as I had no phone credit, I couldn't reply back. Jax knew that if I didn't reply, it meant that I had no credit, so his texts were just words of encouragement to help calm my worries, whereas Jace's texts were sounding increasingly annoyed.

Due to him having to be at work, we didn't hang out today I told him that he was taking too many days off and people were going to become suspicious. He doesn't know that I'm out of credit so he must think I'm ignoring him, because his texts are getting quite defensive and a little rude. He's jumping to conclusions and assuming things. I would just explain it to him at work tomorrow.

Just as my phone rung with a new text, I heard a key turn in the lock of the front door. Feeling paranoid, I checked on the baby who was sleeping peacefully in the baby carrier next to me on the carpeted floor. She looked so sweet and I wanted to pinch her cheeks.

"Sweetheart, I'm so sorry, I got held up at work," Sandy's voice travelled through the room from the entry way. "Oh isn't she just the sweetest?" She said when she walked in and noticed her grand-daughter asleep in the carrier. It looked like she was trying real hard to resist the urge to pick her up and squish her in a tight hug.