The Stargazer's Alpha

Ch. 19: The Night's Mirror

The wolf growled deep in his throat, and the note reverberated through the forest like a heavy metal bass in from a parked car. Warning, for sure, but I also sensed confusion in it, as if the wolf couldn't believe Alpha Blake would kiss a girl in his woods.

Blake froze, his hands still framing my face, so gentle, tears welled in my eyes.

In starlight, his face had a more wolfish cast to it than ever before. His irises blazed, green like planet Venus at dawn.

In my new world, it made him even hotter. "You..." You are so beautiful.

So beautiful, he stole my breath away. As cliche as it sounds, the sensation of gazing, overflowing with pleasant trepidation, and there not being enough air to utter even a single syllable...he had to read it in my eyes.

He had to...and he yanked his hands from my face.

"Let's go," he said, shattering the moment.

I cleared my throat, no longer having difficulty speaking. I just didn't want to, because what would come out would be hurtful. And I was so tired of hurting. But keeping silent wasn't great either.

Simmering resentment filled me, despite my fresh instincts of a werewolf whispering to me it was ridiculous to sulk.

Blake did the right thing.

He obeyed the imperative of his true nature above his hunger, even if it was heightened by the Solstice. Our nature. I still wished he didn't, because maybe I wanted a man who broke all the rules for me. Maybe I wanted a man with a more laissez-faire wolf.

Maybe I wanted my own damn wolf at last to tell me what's right and what's wrong for me!

"Wouldn't it have been nice if we met my wolf instead? I bet she wouldn't go in a huff over one tiny kiss."

Because that's how I pictured my wolf. She—I didn't doubt it would be a she-wolf, though Reed's files said it wasn't a given—would understand how starved I was for affection. It was more important to me than anything else. I already had a cold bitch in my life, named Scarlett, and it was enough.

Wouldn't it actually be nice to meet a wolf like that? I swiveled my head around, wishing her to show up. I even spoke up in a very loud voice, "If my wolf had joined us right now, I could have shifted, I'm sure. Then went straight into heat... Bahm! Problem solved!"

A she-wolf didn't step out of the trees. The only effect my words had was Blake's wolf flickering his ears. I let out a long sigh. "Why, why does everything have to be so difficult and take me so long?"

My spine tickled from a very distinct feeling that Blake wanted to snug my shoulders but didn't out of respect for his wolf. "Take heart in doing it the right way. Shortcuts are not worth it."

I tried to be a brave girl and smile, but in the chilly air of the night and with Blake an arm's length away, my mind jolted awake. "Shortcuts? What shortcuts?"

"There are none." His jaw snapped tight to end this conversation.

But there were shortcuts. I could feel it, just like I had felt that he wanted to hug me earlier. However, this time, the chill it gave me wasn't pleasant. So cold, it warned me off more than Blake's silence.

He maintained it all the way to the shrine, but found my hand again. I held it and fantasized about the shrine. I pictured it as a magical place oozing natural beauty. It would be private, I guessed. It would be...

All of my predictions were right, but also all wrong, because my human brain still pictured white marble or carvings in the rock or stacked stones...something to mark the holiness of the place by an artist's hand.