The Stargazer's Alpha

Ch. 25: Bonds Can Be Broken

For the next month, Blake ghosted me.

I caught a whiff of his scent in the elevator. I saw him disappearing behind the doors. His tall figure paced the grounds as I was trapped on my balcony many stories above.

At first, I followed the scent, opened the doors and took heart-pounding elevator rides...uselessly. Blake was like smoke. He truly avoided me.

At the same time, as his social manager, I knew where he was every minute of every day...available to everyone in the pack, yet not me. I thought it was a torment to see Blake, but never touch or kiss him. This was worse. Much worse.

My mood spiraled down so much, only a promise of a hot shower roused me out of bed on the morning Blake was departing for his stupid expedition cruise to Antarctica.

While hot jets massaged my skin and steam filled my shower cabin with herbal scents of my soap, my brain refused to take a five. And whose fault is it that Blake is going on a stupid cruise? a small voice in my head asked.

I jerked the water shut and slammed the glass door. Goddess, how could I have been so stupid!

Who the heck needs to go to Antarctica? Here, in Grauberg, we had all the natural beauty, snow and wildlife one could possibly wish for! What did Blake forget in Antarctica? Why was he leaving me?

I scribbled dumbass on the misted over mirror. Then, still wrapped in a towel, I poured a cup of coffee.

At least Scarlett wasn't going, and the cruise was so small and exclusive, chances were Blake would be the only werewolf there. Unless, the Goddess had another cruel jest up her sleeve and planted some gorgeous Alaskan Luna on the ship.

Yeah, that would be just my luck. I pressed my burning forehead against the cold windowpane, hoping to slow down the swirl of my unhappy thoughts.

It was dark outside, another reminder about how miserable my life was. The Longest Night of the year was only six weeks away. Six weeks before Blake has to stand before the pack and joyfully announce who his mate is. And, naturally, I hadn't seen a single paw print of my wolf on the fresh snow.

Maybe it was my lack of faith in the Goddess. Or, like Mie had said, lack of faith in myself. If I was somebody else, someone who hadn't been disappointed and rejected so many times, maybe I would have found the wolf weeks ago.

I felt so low, that if I was an obnoxious motivational speaker, I would have found my wolf today, just in the nick of time to stop Blake from leaving me.

I snorted at the thought of telling about my incredible triumph, just when the sky looked the darkest. And we lived happily ever after!

With a scoff, I pulled up snow pants over my leggings and snow boots, then swallowed the last dregs of coffee. "Here goes nothing."

Snow crunched under my boots as I entered the familiar trail. The winter's chill already hung in the air, despite it only being November, turning my breath into fog. Hoar frost turned every brunch and needle into a natural marvel. The forest slept, bound in ice, happy to rest in winter.

I felt almost guilty for intruding, as my footprints disturbed virginal snow away from the main pilgrimage passes. Birds' busy, rushing footprints were everywhere, but they didn't seem to disturb the peace as much.

Something gray, large and silent flashed between the trees, and I forgot about feeling guilty.

A wolf! It had to be a wolf!

Could this be my story of the last minute, unlooked for, miracle? Really? The moment was perfect: just as I despaired...though that was my state 24/7.

"Goddess, please! Please!" It was a lousy prayer, but my head and my heart throbbed too much to come up with anything more elaborate.