Every morning, before he leaves for work, my husband Caleb pulls a bottle of kiwi-and-strawberry-flavoured Smart Water from the fridge. Chock-full of vitamins, minerals, and other additives to keep his health up and improve cognitive performance, he survives on it rather than proper food. Of course, he eats. Breakfast and dinner only, though, and not much of either. Instead, he fills himself up on low-calorie Smart Water, giving him just enough energy to get through the day.
It's no wonder why he's so damn skinny.
I don't know how he does it. Before I fell pregnant with our twins, Rowan and Liam, I was skinny myself. But I'd fought for that skinny body - raised by big eaters, I'd had a near-insatiable appetite of my own. Suffering hunger pangs to keep my calories down, and horrible cravings as I denied myself all of my favourite unhealthy snacks, I worked out religiously to earn a body that most girls would die for. Announcing the pregnancy, everyone said that now I had an excuse to eat too much and gain some weight. So I took that opportunity for every penny it was worth.
At five-foot-five and 110-lbs, even the smallest weight gain was noticeable. As soon as those cravings hit at the three-month mark, I went all-in and devoured every sugary, sweet, delicious thing in sight. In just six months I ballooned to 145-lb, and by the time my twins were born (each weighing over seven-pound themselves) I was 183-lb. Two years later, I never managed to gain all of my self-control back. Though now I've shrunk down to 163-lb, I know I'll never be as slim as my pre-motherhood self.
It doesn't matter. I find time to work out three times a week, and am lucky to be blessed with curves in the best places. I'm healthy, happy, and confident, and Caleb is as attracted to me now as he's ever been. Maybe even more so. In regards to myself and my size, I've absolutely nothing to complain about. Instead, my complaints revolve around Caleb.
I'm not jealous. I promise you, I'm not. But being so skinny from simply not eating enough is too unhealthy. At six-foot-one, he's only 134-lb. It worries me to the core, the idea of him getting sick. Not only for my sake, but our sons look up to him. They're starting to mimic him, as nearly all young boys mimic their fathers. Caleb needs to be a healthy role model for them, and to do that, he needs to gain some weight.
There is, however, one other aspect to this. As Caleb seems to prefer me with a little more volume, so too do I prefer guys with a little more meat on their bones. And I'm not necessarily talking muscle. Blame it on the family I grew up in, but all the men I was raised around were, well, round. Big boys with even bigger appetites, who weren't satisfied until their bellies were swollen with a night's feast. It was always the job of my mother, aunties, and older female cousins - all of whom were big themselves - to cook elaborate meals that were more than enough to feed an army. With Caleb eating so scarcely, and our boys being still so young, I felt a tad useless.
Now, it's reached the point where enough is enough. Talking to Caleb - calmly and rationally, mind you - has not worked, and I know arguing with him is always pointless. So, all morning, I've been scouring the internet for the best appetite stimulants. Something just to kick start his appetite enough to cover up those jagged bones. Finally I came across something called "Loviva". It's a white tablet that dissolves when immersed in liquid. Most of the reviews are four or five stars, praising the effects of it. It was somewhat expensive, but it's not like we're struggling for money. Reasoning that it was mainly for health benefits, I paid for a four-week trial pack.
It would take approximately one week to arrive.
***
This past week has been horrible. Ever an impatient person, I absolutely hate waiting for things. It frustrates me, and seeing as I can't vent to Caleb as usually do, I take that frustration out on a pint of ice cream each night in front of the TV. Shovelling it into my mouth, I fight to keep my mind on the show's story line, and not on the pills that are due to arrive.
