Shattered Mind - A KDA male reader

008 - Hard Choices

It's a rather cold and misty morning, you can almost see it hovering over the water. Though despite that the air has this stuffy smell to it. I can tell that today will be a scorcher despite it being pretty cool right now.

I glance at the man next to me who blows the smoke out of his lungs, adding more to the 'smoke' around us. "You reckon that's the hardest part about this."

I nod, "I don't know who I am supposed to be. But from where I stand, it feels like I would have hated myself."

He glances at me, then slowly nods, "I guess so. But do give the man some credit. You have friends in low places, high places... and ones that sit comfortably working a nine-to-five without the added grief of being famous."

He gestures at me, and the smoke from his cigarette lingers around me. "I don't want to be the guy that tells you what you have to do, (Y/N). But you can throw it all away and begin over or it could be that... YOU throwing away everything YOU did."

I interrupt him, "Or burying him forever."

"Is he dead?"

"I don't know," I pull my gaze away.

In the meantime, I've been fiddling with the phone between my fingers. "Think about it."

I glance at Will. He came home after those two left last night and said he wanted to talk to me early morning. I said that I'd prefer to look over the sea but I didn't account for the morning mist to block out most of the vista.

Funny... funny that I knew this was where I wanted to be. As if this is where he used to come for answers. Will is a huge guy towering over me, with broad shoulders, and a thick beard. Man looks like he is one Russian accent away from being a stereotype.

"Don't you dare think about anyone else, not even for a moment? My advice is to set whatever past is still in your head aflame and let it fade, but that's the hard choice. The even harder one is clinging to it all hoping that 'you' will come back. That you'll remember."

I clench the phone tightly, feeling as if I applied any more pressure that I'd crush it between my fingers. "Nothing's easy."

"Easy to walk away, but do you think they'll let you? People are selfish by nature and with that comes the illusion that they mistake their wishes for 'what is best for you'. Just remember that moving forward you don't owe anyone answers, you don't owe them anything because right now not even you yourself can give you that much."

"That goes for both choices, doesn't it?"

He sighs long and loudly. "I'll be honest, brother. I've been putting myself in your shoes and thinking about all the things I would want to hear, all the things I think I should hear but wouldn't be strong enough to accept."

"But you just can't fathom it," I state.

"I'll never be able to understand, I'll only ever be able to assume. The thought alone is... sad." He takes another long pull from his cigarette before tossing it into the water below us, "Tell me then, (Y/N). What do you want to hear?"

"Closure. I'll solace in that alone, then I can start."

"From who?" He asks me. "From us? From them?"

I turn the phone and press the button, unlocking the phone I stare at the four smiles staring back at me. I can feel that sadness sit in my chest... I can almost feel a tear forming but I bite down and swallow it.

This broken head of mine is trying to remember something and every time I see these faces... the heart remembers. Is that even possible? Does the heart have the capability to 'remember'? Or is my head trying to tell me something?