*** Evelynn POV ***
"You look like someone that's been contemplating the world." Akali freezes as she walks past me, she spins around to catch me almost perfectly hidden around the corner, while I lounge in the break room. Arching my brow at her, "Sit?" I suggest, gesturing to the surrounding seats.
Her gaze wanders, almost away from this room. Her thoughts aren't here, it is probably with him.
"You ever have those nasty thoughts? Those that hover... I have those thoughts so often now that it feels depressing."
"Let it out then," I suggest. "What good is there keeping those thoughts for yourself when every night, every quiet moment, your wound is ripped open all over again just because you dare to think of it."
"Are we mistaken?"
I freeze to contemplate the question, but despite what happened, I cannot guess what she is referring to. "About what? Saying it as it is will make me understand, will make it a hell of a lot easier to-"
"Cut the line," she speaks over me. "Cut the line," she repeats herself to ensure I've heard her correctly. "Maybe this is an out for all of us, where we all learn from it and-"
"And what?" I couldn't stop myself from sounding... disgusted at her suggestion. I pull my gaze away from her, clicking my tongue to the side I breathe out, "What is there to learn from a family member going through a severely traumatic experience, so much so, that our faces are those of strangers."
"I don't know, Evelynn."
"Do you want out?" I glance at her, hiding the fact that her question had a nasty bite.
She crosses her arms on her legs, dangling her head between her shoulders I can see she is contemplating the world. Tapping her foot, her nails dug into her knees and then reached out to her forearms.
"We are all young, aren't we?" She asks quietly.
"Young enough to get over it," I express, watching her intensely. "Young enough to burry it far behind us and move on with our lives. Young enough to regret it thoroughly."
She freezes, "I guess so."
"He's still here."
"And yet-"
"And yet? It is easier to push things away, Akali."
She lifts herself, not once looking me in the eye. "It's a far stretch, Eve. But because of that it could all end at any given moment... forgive me for letting these thoughts win," she turns slightly to look me in the eye, to smile a sad smile. "He's still here, after all."
I let my expression relax, not realising up until now that any topic that has to do with him... has gotten me anxious, it all drives me over the edge. The situation around it, the outcome of it all.
"I forgive you," I lift myself after her. "Do you want company? Or would you rather be left alone for now?" I ask her carefully.
"Is this supposed to be you asking me out on a date?"
I scoff. "Shut up, do you want food or not?"
"Sure," she turns around and steps towards me.
Probably has nothing to do with the fact that I am going to be the one paying, but I am willing to bet that maybe a little bit of it played a part in her decision.
*** Normal POV ***
"This is nice," her fingers are half dug into the pockets of her jeans as she wanders around the living room. "You know in all the years that we've been 'involved' I've only heard about your family house and never been to it."
I am idling near the doorway, almost expecting someone to jump the two of us in here. The paranoia is setting in but I am not going to let it show, because... well it could be a coincidence, it could very well be that.
"Never?" I shut the door behind her as I scoot the last few boxes into the door as if to block it from potential intruders.
"Never." I turn to face her, she has made herself comfortable resting on the arms of the couch while watching me intensely. "You seem spooked, are you okay?"
I nod, forcing a smile. "I guess-" I bite my inner lip as if to stop myself from creating nasty habits. "I am pretty spooked." Her brow furrows at my words, and she pushes herself off of the couch as I express, "I think someone wandered into my house moments before I came here myself, I don't know if I am just paranoid, maybe someone was waiting for me-"
"Sweety," she interrupts me. "Is it safe here? Do you feel safe?"
I nod. "It's my fault, I should have locked it. It could have been just a nosy neighbour but considering everything I've been high-strung." I am suddenly conscience of the distance between us, I clear my throat suggesting, "Sorry, I don't mean to make you freak out alongside me but I kinda needed to get my mind off of it."
"Okay," she nods slowly. "We'll finish up with all of this and maybe work on getting some decent security in this place?"
Even if it was a stupid thing to say, I can't build all of this on lies.
What if there is someone after my neck? What if someone is making sure I did to myself what I wanted to do myself? What if there is so much more to my sudden Amnesia that I won't be able to fathom?
For now, I tuck those ideas back, I hide them so far back into my head hoping that those worries will fade till they become relevant. We awkwardly and silently start moving things around, and slowly we start building some conversation just about small stories that she remembers of her own life and I am trying to build upon something that... I feel like I never had.
Strange. That it even took away that from me, the memories, the smallest of moments. Why take those? Is it because all those moments were spent around them? Or does Amnesia not work like... maybe it is just all-encompassing.
YOU ARE READING
Shattered Mind - A KDA male reader
FanfictionI've been through a fair amount in my life, enough so to be able to tell you something and the odds of me being correct would be heavily weighed in my favour. I think most people are like this, they grew up in a rough environment and had to fight wi...
