C.E.E (Corrective Emotional Experiences)

Chapter Two

The restaurant is noisy thanks to the dinner rush. The sounds of customers chatting, food sizzling, and the staff communicating to one another loudly, are all sounds that bring Lux some odd type of comfort. The familiar sounds act like a soothing balm, melting away his anxiety.

He's here during a dinner rush because Niko texted him, "So how does this all work?" and instead of responding in the same informal way, Lux dresses in black jeans, an oversized crew neck sweater from a college he's never attended, and ties his hair back in a loose ponytail, before heading to Niko's restaurant. He's seated at the bar, picking at a plate of pasta primavera, his appetite nowhere to be found as nerves—stupid, ridiculous nerves—has his stomach in a white knuckled death grip.

He has no clue why he's so nervous. After all, he agreed to Niko's stupid proposition. Lux pushes aside the bowl of pasta and lifts his eyes to watch Niko move around the kitchen. He's almost graceful in the way he easily slips around wait staff, his sous-chef, senior chef, and the saucier. His usual lighthearted, jovial nature is still present, but it's overshadowed by his commanding aura. He easily instructs, gently corrects, and firmly leads, making the dinner rush run smoothly. By the time the rush dies down–an hour before closing–Lux has worked his way through a bottle of expensive wine and Niko is surreptitiously shooting him furtive glances from over the heads of his staff.

"I can see the little wheels in your mind desperately trying to turn. What?" Lux's words are slower and slightly slurred, his tongue heavy from wine.

Niko approaches the bar and leans over, folding his arms across the heavily lacquered top. "Do you want to maybe talk about this when you're not inebriated? And you barely ate anything. Want me to make you something else?" His eyes are soft and there's this...look... to them that makes Lux's stomach tighten slightly and his breath hitch in his chest.

He reaches out to push Niko's face away. "I'm not drunk. And I'm definitely not hungry for your heavy foods."

"So, wild rice and chicken soup?"Niko chuckles, his eyes shining brightly as Lux's face flushes, the red in his cheeks making his tawny complexion a bit ruddy.

Lux waves a hand, seemingly clearing the air of the perceived tension between them. "I don't care. I came here to talk. Not to be fed second rate cuisine."

Niko rolls his eyes. "If you hate my food so much, why do you eat at least one meal a day here?"

"Because I eat for free," Lux defends himself matter-of-factly.

"Remind me to start charging you then," Niko laughs over his shoulder. Comfortable silence rests between the two as he cooks and delegates opening responsibilities for the next day to the manager. The soup is served and Niko redirects his attention to cleaning his mess as Lux quietly eats.

"I don't know how this works," Lux finally breaks the silence. "I—I usually get a strong, uh, urge and then that's it." He can feel his body temperature rising, the blood warming under his cheeks. Niko's leaning against one of the countertops, beautiful bright eyes trained on Lux as he stumbles over his words. Niko doesn't interrupt, he never does, which makes it easier for Lux to continue explaining his "process".

"It's usually strongest in the middle of the night. So I'll plan to go out. Usually restaurants, a bar or two, a few times a movie theater."

Niko interjects, "Why the middle of the night?"

He shrugs and answers honestly, "I can't hide from my thoughts when I'm trying to fall asleep. There are no loud distractions, no work tasks to complete, no lazy cousin to steer in the right direction. The past is loud at midnight, Niko." He pushes his empty plate forward, sighing softly. "I try to ignore it, but—anyways," he gives a subtle shake of his head, pushing aside the ghastly images that haunt him daily as he schools his expression and forces the thin tremble from his voice. "You need to be available from 11pm to 3 am."