C.E.E (Corrective Emotional Experiences)

Chapter Eight

The heat feels oppressive, making Lux sigh loudly as his thin pajamas cling uncomfortably to his body. He's tired, drifting in and out of sleep, only to be snatched away from completely succumbing to slumber as his mind replays his confession.

I love you, Nikolas.

He does. He's known that for years. He's always felt undeserving of Niko's attention, the gentle care he displays, and the intensity with which he loves, but slowly over time, Lux has realized Niko has been a shining light cutting through the dense fog of his past to guide him safely ashore.

He's been lost for years, unsure of where to go, how to feel, if it was even okay to feel what he does, and each time the darkness nearly consumes him, each time he wants to give up, Niko is there, offering a smile, a touch, silence, his body...

The hour is late, Lux knows this. The moon hangs heavy in the sky casting its luminous silver glow into the apartment. He rolls over onto his side, sighing softly.

A week has gone by since he's admitted his feelings and since then, due to a tight deadline with work and getting caught up on projects he has fallen behind on, he barely has time to speak to Niko, let alone see him. Their conversations have mainly been quick text messages and an occasional phone call that ends with Lux hissing at Niko to shut up as he loudly declares, "I'm talking to my boyfriend!" whenever someone in the background asks what he's doing.

Lux reaches for his phone and dials Niko's number. Despite it being nearly 3am, his voice is clear of any drowsiness as he picks up.

"Can't sleep?"

Hearing his voice has Lux's lip twitching into a soft smile, but he keeps an even tone as he responds. "You never asked me to be your boyfriend. Or if I was okay with such a juvenile term. We aren't in high school, Nikolas."

"So, what you're saying is, you want me to ask you to date exclusively?"

"I'm saying, we haven't discussed titles."

Niko chuckles, "Okay. We can discuss titles at a more appropriate hour of the day. Unless," his voice dips, tone shifting to one that has Lux's stomach flutter and warm with a quickly spreading heat, "you called me for another reason?"

Lux swallows thickly, barely any fire behind his words as he snaps, "Shut up."

"You're the only man I know that calls someone just to tell them to shut up."

"I didn't call for that," he insists. "I called because I—"

Niko interrupts, "—Miss me?"

"Yes."

"Wait, you do?" Niko did little to hide the shock from his voice.

"Why wouldn't I?" Lux yawns. "I haven't seen you in a week. Which means I've been eating convenience store food, take out, or Izzy's cooking, which is not that bad once I successfully convinced him that gravy doesn't need to go on everything." Niko's laugh makes him smile. It always has. "You sound surprised to know that I miss you, Nikolas."

"Not surprised, just grateful. That and I was counting on your shitty sleeping schedule."

"Oh? For what reason?"

"I've been thinking—"

"—I hope you didn't hurt yourself—"

"Asshole." Niko snorts despite himself. "I've been thinking about this arrangement."

Lux's stomach twists. He knew at some point one of them was going to redefine the boundaries in their relationship and that it could possibly mean that their arrangement would be altered until they clearly defined exactly what they were to the other. "Oh..."