Lose Those Chains

Did I Ever Tell You I'm Not Doing Well

It had been a few days since Adam had last seen Luci and Lilith. But there wasn't a minute when he didn't think of them. Whenever he watched the animals grazing, he'd point and start to say something, still thinking Luci or Lilith were beside him. When he tended to the crops, he would expect to hear their laughter ring out after he made a joke.

It wasn't until he turned and saw no one there that he remembered he was all alone.

Oftentimes, Adam took long walks down by the beach, something he and Lilith used to do together. The sand still felt soft beneath his feet, and the waves still crashed against the shoreline. The sun would still rise in the east and set in the west. But nothing could be more different for the man.

Gabriel had told him it was not good for man to be alone. But isn't that what he was right now?

Even the animals had their partners. Some were even expecting offspring. Something Adam knew he would never have now.

As he stood on the coast, listening to the lull of the ocean, the thought of walking into the sea and letting it carry him away crossed his mind more than once. He would take a few steps into the water until it reached his waist, the taste of salt filling his tongue. His body bobbed with each passing wave, but before he could venture out any deeper, he would swim back to land.

He wasn't sure why he'd always back out at the last second. Surely, wherever the waves took him, it would be better than remaining here.

Alone.

Unlike Luci, the remaining angels didn't interact with him as much. They didn't take the same interest in him as Luci had. Where he saw Luci as a friend, the other angels were more like advisors to him.

And this was even before Luci had been banished from the garden. Now that Luci was no longer around, the angels had increased their distance from Adam. The only time he really even conversed with them was either when he was assigned new chores or when he came across Raphael, who had been assigned to guard the garden. Apparently, the angels were concerned Lucifer would make a reappearance after being explicitly told not to. Sometimes, Adam had hoped he would.

Just as he hoped Lilith would. No matter how many times he'd return to the grove, Adam always thought he would find Lilith waiting there for him. Of course, each time he returned, it was to an empty orchard.

He slept more than he used to. He didn't even require that much sleep, only a few hours. But now that there wasn't much else to do, he slept almost up to eight hours a night. Sometimes, even during the day, too.

When he wasn't doing his chores or exploring the garden, he'd sit by a rivulet that fed into a spring. It was one of the few places he was able to see his reflection clearly. He would stare at himself for several long minutes with nothing but the trickling of the water to fill the silence.

Adam knew he was created to be handsome, and objectively, he was. His face was symmetrical. He was muscular and toned, and there weren't any blemishes or scars marking his skin.

But when he thought about Luci, he knew the angel was far more beautiful than him. Luci had hair the color of gold, whereas Adam's was more like copper. Luci's skin was milk-white while Adam's resembled the bark of an oak tree. Even Luci's eyes glowed as red as rubies all the time. The closest Adam's green ones ever glimmered was when the sunlight hit them at a certain angle.

And that wasn't to mention how Luci could fly with his three pairs of wings. Or how Luci was made of something else entirely. He hadn't come from the dust of the Earth like Adam had. He wasn't made of flesh and blood like Adam was.

If anything, Luci was made from the dust of the stars.

Maybe that's why Lilith chose Luci over him...