Daughter of Wine

Leo

At the end of the hall stands a walnut door with a bronze plaque:

ASCLEPIUS

MD, DMD, DME, DC, DVS, FAAN, OMG, EMT, TTYL, FRCP, ME, IOU, OD, OT, PHARMD, BAMF, RN, PHD, INC., SMH

There might be more acronyms in the list, but at this point my brain could explode.

Piper knocks. "Dr. Asclepius?"

The door flies open. The man inside has a kindly smile, crinkles around his eyes, short salt-and-pepper hair, and a well trimmed beard. He wears a white lab coat over a business suit and a stethoscope around his neck. Your typical doctor outfit, except for one thing: Asclepius holds a polished black staff with a live green python coiled around it.

I'm not happy to see another snake. The python regards me with pale yellow eyes, and I have a feeling it's not set to idiot mode.

"Hello!" Says Asclepius.

"Doctor." Piper's smile is so warm it could melt a Boread. "We'd be so grateful for your help. We need the physician's cure."

I'm not her target, but Piper's charmspeak washes over me irresistibly. I'd do anything to help her get that cure. I'd go to medical school, get twelve doctorate degrees, and buy a large green python on a stick.

Asclepius puts his hand over his heart. "Oh my dear, I would be delighted to help."

Piper's smile wavers. "You would? I mean, of course you would."

"Come in! Come in!" Asclepius ushers us into his office.

The guy is so nice, I figure his office will be full of torture devices, but it looks like... well, a doctor's office: a big maple desk, bookshelves stuffed with medical books, and some of those plastic organ models I loved to play with as a kid. I remember getting in trouble one time because I turned a cross-section kidney and some skeleton legs into a kidney monster and scared the nurse.

Life was simpler back then.

Asclepius takes the big comfy doctor's chair and lays his staff and serpent across his desk. "Please, sit!"

Jason and Piper take the two chairs on the patients' side. Calli and I remain standing, which is fine with me. I don't want to be eye-level with the snake.

"So." Asclepius leans back. "I can't tell you how nice it is to actually talk with patients. The last few thousand years, the paperwork has gotten out of control. Rush, rush, rush. Fill in forms. Deal with red tape. Not to mention the giant alabaster guardian who kills everyone in the waiting room. It takes all the fun out of medicine!"

"Yeah." I say. "Hygeia is kind of a downer."

Asclepius grins. "My real daughter Hygeia isn't like that, I assure you. She's quite nice. At any rate, you two did well reprogramming the statues. You have surgeon's hands."

Calli and I grin at each other. She actually impressed me big-time with that whole idiot mode thing. If by some miracle we do survive all this, I think we'll make a banging team in Leo, Calli, and Calypso's Garage.

Jason shudders. "Calli and Leo with scalpels? Don't encourage them."

"Hey, who stitched you up when you got kebobed?" Calli crosses her arms.

The doctor god chuckles. "Well, what seems to be the trouble?" He sits forward and peers at Jason. "Hmmm...Imperial gold sword wound, but that's healed nicely. No cancer, no heart problems. Watch that mole on your left foot, but I'm sure it's benign."

Jason blanches. "How did you-"

"Oh, of course!" Asclepius says. "You're a bit nearsighted! Simple fix."