Saving You | BWS-RSO FF

Chapter 7 - Looking Back

Music: Memory Lane by Haley Joelle

"I'll call you when I'm done." I tell the driver.

He bows before returning to the car and driving off.

Standing here now, everything still feels the same. The road looks the same and all the houses around it seem to not have left like Anton and I did a few years ago. Being here, in front of our old home, I can feel myself traveling back in time where our life seemed to always be on edge. After graduating university, Anton and I found ourselves in a job that got us a home. Back then, we never cared about where we were sleeping as long as we had each other. How we grew up, it was different from how it should normally play out. All the things we had to fight just to stand stronger and firm. When we left our captivity in Russia, it didn't mean we also escaped all the trauma we went through in that dark house.

Some nights I would stay awake at night because all I heard were the screams of those who were being punished for always losing in fights. Anton was one of them. They would lead him to a dark room and do all kinds of punishment to him just so they could teach him a lesson about the importance of being on top. Once they were done, they'd leave him chained in a room all alone without food or water for days. I was no exception to that kind of treatment. No matter how much I thought I earned a free pass from them because of winning the fights, I was still nothing. They would do the same thing to me.

Anton and I, we had different lives in that house. We were two different people with the same goal – to survive.

Taking out a deep breath, I walk to the front door and find myself in a simple yet cozy looking home. It's like any ordinary home you could find – a simple garden at the front and a porch that leads to the house. Walking up the stairs, I find myself looking at a too familiar door.

"We're going to be late!" Anton would yell every time we had to leave for university. I always took too long to get ready because I never knew how to hide the scars on my face. People talk behind our backs, and we knew that. They would tell us how different we were – "almost like them" is what they would say. They'd laugh about how we looked and acted differently from them and they'd start making stories about us that were never even close to the real one. We were the odd one out. And, having this, we knew it was going to be us against the world.

Turning the doorknob, I push the door open and it creaks as it goes. I can still remember the smell of wood in this house. Walking in, the floor creaks as I step on it and I'm greeted by the stairs that led to my old room. Back then, I would sleep in the room upstairs and Anton took the living room. He'd sleep on the couch even after countless times of telling him I don't mind sleeping in the same room if it meant we had to sleep in separate spaces.

Everything is exactly how we left it, almost empty but still a home I remember.

Anton would always be waiting by the bottom of the stairs. It was our 3rd year in college when he first asked me out. I remember it so vividly – him waiting wearing a simple black top and black jeans. He would sit on the last step of the stairs as he waited for me to get down. It was during the summer time when we went out together so I was wearing a simple blue dress and sneakers. The way he looked at me, I would never forget. As I walked down the stairs, his eyes were looking at me as if it was the very first time he's ever seen a woman before. His eyes were so wide open and his eyebrows were raised up on his forehead. I honestly thought there was something wrong with the way I looked. But then, as I got to the last step, he held my hand and told me how pretty I looked.

Walking past the stairs, I enter the living room and can still feel the atmosphere of this place. We had good times in this house. But, we also had moments where we knew we only had each other. In the living room is the couch that Anton made his bed. For months, Anton would scream at night and I'd run down from my room to check on him. When I got to him, he would be on this couch with his eyes closed but his body was moving all over the place. He would be having a nightmare. He'd punch at the air and continue to scream. I would kneel down beside him and just try to wake him up. Sweat and tears would run down his face as he opened his eyes.

"It's okay, it's okay." I would tell him as I held his shoulders down. "You're okay."

His hands held onto my arms as he cried for a while. After moments passed, he'd close his eyes again and I'll wait for him to fall asleep before I return to my room.

Some nights, he would stay up all night because he was afraid to go to bed and have a nightmare again. So, I'd stay with him. Back then, he would sit by our dining table that had the view of outside.

"The sky is shining brightly tonight." He said as he placed his mug down on the table. "I never knew it would be that pretty."

I smiled. "Do you know stars shine brightly at night?"

His eyes drift to me. "No. Why is that?"

"A lot of bad things happen in the dark. To hide those bad things, the sky has to sparkle like that."

Anton looked at me for a while before speaking. "You're forgetting one more thing about the night sky."

"Why's that?" I asked as I leaned back on my seat.

"The moon." He said as he pointed to the big white circle up in the sky. "The moon also shines brightly at night. Not a lot of people notice it because the stars are taking too much attention."

Laughing at his statement, he doesn't take his eyes away from me.

"You gave me a reason to live again, Moon. When everything felt like it was about to crumble, you came into my life and saved me." His voice breaks for a moment and a tear escapes his eye. "In the darkest of days, you lit up my life and gave me another chance to carry on and be better."

"Anton.." I trailed off.

"I love you, Moon." Standing up, he gets down on one knee beside me. "I love you, Moon."

My eyes widened as he pulled out a small ring from his pocket.

"Marry me, Moon." He said. "I promise to protect you all the days of our lives. I promise to always love you in your best and even your worst times. Would you make me the happiest man in this life and the next by accepting me?"

Tears streamed down my face as I looked in his eyes – those eyes that always saw right through me.

Standing in this room now, I can feel the cold streak of tear running down my face as I remember all the times Anton and I spent here together. Putting my hand up, I look at my ring. So many things have happened to the two of us that made us who we are now. I know, it seems like we cannot be separated. But, it's only been the two of us in this world.

"Anton." I cry out. "I'm sorry."