Music: Love of My Life by Avery Lynch
As days turned into weeks, I received chemotherapy from the hospital. Every visit, the room would be filled with activity of nurses running around trying to check one patient from another, checking their vitals and administering treatments. As everything has happened, Anton has been beside me.
The side effects of my chemo have already taken a toll on me. I feel weak and nauseous all the time. I knew this wasn't going to be easy but I never thought it would take too much from me. There was an overwhelming feeling of weakness and helplessness that came with it.
Every night, Anton would be awoken by me as I threw up in the toilet. He would come in, ready to hold my hair up as the medication took over my body. On days when I felt the weakest, Anton would cook my favorite meals even if he knew my appetite had been affected, too. He was the one who made sure I took my medications on time.
When it was time for my appointment at the hospital, he'd be the one there in the room with me. Holding my hand, he would talk about anything and everything under the sun just to distract me from the heat surging through my veins as the chemotherapy dripped into my body.
He would talk about the time he first saw me during our time with the keepers. His story would then drift to when we first moved in together and then when he first saw me as more than just someone he lived with. Then, his story would go to our wedding day and how it was the most memorable day for him. This was the story he told me again and again, although the scenery would be different, the feelings he felt were still the same.
There were days when my strength would return and I'd be able to have a drive with Anton. He would take me to the beach where we spent our honeymoon together and we'd watch the waves crash on the shore. When the sun dips down, we'd drive home and it's another cycle of this.
Sometimes, Anton would visit the office just to make sure everything is still in check while we're away for a while. People would be asking questions but he never gave them a definite answer. I guess they figured his answer would always be the same so they stopped asking all together.
Some sessions, Anton would fall asleep on me as I lay on the bed. He'd rest his head on my bed and I'd caress him. When the weeks turned into months, we stayed this way. But, the cancer didn't stop. A few months later, we found out that my cancer slowed down but it didn't stop.
Even after knowing this, Anton never flattered. He stayed strong beside me and he became the rock I held onto. He supported me throughout everything and still remained that way.
"I love you, Anton." I'd whisper to him when he falls asleep beside me.
I knew this was not going to be easy for him. That night when we watched a movie together, I saw the look on his face as he tried to decipher what had happened to me. I saw how his eyes showed the fear he tries so hard to mask. When I saw him sitting there and thinking about all the possibilities that could have happened that made me that way, I never wanted it to happen so bad. I kept thinking that this will pass and it's just one of those medical errors that cannot be explained. I wanted it to be false.
But. it isn't. And, here we are.
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