Feeling Numb {Noiz X Aoba}

Golf

HELLO AGAIN MY LOVELIES.

I'm sorry.

Hopefully I will get the next chapter out within the next two weeks. Well that's what I'm aiming for anyway.I HAVE BIG PLANS....MWAHAHAhahaa... ^^ Thank you again for your support and comments!

Now here...we....go!

"What's with all the black? You look like you're goin' to a funeral."

"Maybe I am."

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NOIZ POV

I feel my heart beat strike against the walls of my chest. I bite my lip, to keep from crying out. The air in my lungs burns as I watch Aoba's lips press against another pair.

My blood raced into my hands. I could feel the familiar numbness taking hold of me. I reached out for it. My hand extended, welcoming the safety and familiarity.

All my life I had been told I was never loved, never of value. I was told I was a burden, a pity card to be played. I was told I was useless, unwanted, stupid. I was told a lot of things. And I believed them. I believed them until I could no longer feel the sting of their pain.

Only recently I had been able to forget the pain. I was able to push aside the hurt and replace it with something else. I was able to replace it with love. But I never knew how fragile love was. Until now. It shattered like a thin plate of glass. I could feel it in my chest, in my stomach, in my toes. I could feel my thoughts center on The Wall. The Wall that I had took so long to build up. The Wall that a certain blue haired boy was able to infiltrate within a few words. The same wall that I was now rebuilding without hesitation.

I believe them again.

Still, I was able to cling to my feelings towards Aoba. I held onto what he told me.

"I love you..."

"You are beautiful..."

I know I love him. And I felt angry. Seeing this happen before me, everything I feel towards Aoba, it made me feel angry at this dark haired asshole. I felt protective. I felt hurt. I felt confused.

My heart beat thrummed against my chest, and my blood raced through me. I reached for the door as Aoba did. His eyes widened at the surprise of seeing me.

Aoba spoke to me. I couldn't focus on what he said.

"Who the hell is he?"

Aoba's eyes widened, and his jaw dropped slightly. I could feel my heart sink deeper into my chest. The other stood and approached me. He had an uncomfortable smile on his face, a scar ran across the bridge of his nose. He was handsome, even with a scar, though I'd never admit it.

I walked closer to me. It seemed like my vision was fading, I could feel a searing hot rage rise in my chest. The dark haired man set his hand on my shoulder.

"Noiz, This is Koujaku, he's my friend from school and he was just dropping off some homework I missed....Noiz I-"

"Shut up." My voice came out like as a whisper but I wanted to scream.

"Hey, watch it, it was just a misunderstanding. He was telling me-"

I couldn't take it anymore. The heat in my chest, my heart, it traveled to my hands. I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to kill him.

I grabbed his shirt before winding my fist back and slamming it to his jaw. I could hear Aoba shout something. I couldn't understand it. And I didn't want to. Koujaku stumbled back before retaliating. He shoved me back, hard, against a metal desk. I could tell it should've of hurt. But I was too far gone. I brought my knee up, meeting his firm stomach with a solid kick. I couldn't help but smirk at the gasp he let out. He folded to the ground, trying to catch his breath. I wouldn't give him the chance. I picked him up by his shirt, and gave him another substantial hit to his mouth. I could see the crimson liquid seep from his nose and his lip. He steadied himself and spat out a mixture saliva and blood.

Koujaku was able to grab a hold of me sometime during the fight, he landed a few blows to my stomach and jaw, and another jab to my temple. Blood oozed into my eye from the cut above my brow, causing me to see red. All I could see was red.

"NOIZ!" As I readied another blow against Koujaku, who was already panting for breath, I heard a voice. It sounded scared. Aoba. His voice made me stop and realize what I had done. I looked at Koujaku who I had pinned against a car. I stared through him, my gaze sharp as daggers.  I wanted to kill him, and I realized I almost succeeded. His face was swollen and bruised, his lip bleeding along with his nose. He gripped my wrist, attempting to pry my hand away from him. I released my grip and he fell with a defeated thud.

"Koujaku...Noiz." Aoba's voice turned from concern to anger once he said my name. His amber eyes seemed brighter as he stared at me.

"Aoba..." I couldn't conjure enough emotion. I could hear my own voice distantly. I felt unattached, but I gripped onto his voice. I didn't want to go back. I wanted to stay with Aoba and hear him call my name and feel him touch my face.

"Noiz. Get out."

"A-Aoba..."

"Leave, Noiz... GO." His voice was stern and his eyes seared into me. I gripped tighter to the strand.

No, Aoba...Please...

I reached toward him, I wanted to feel him, I needed him to pull me back.

He smacked my hand before I was able to feel him. He gripped my shirt in his fists, dragging me with surprisingly impressive strength to the door before throwing me from it. I landed with my back to the ground, meeting the cold cement with a thwack.

"Get away from here. Get away from me, Noiz. What the hell is wrong with you?!"

I could only sit on the ground as Aoba glared at me. I could feel my anger for Koujaku direct itself to Aoba. No. Stop...You don't want this...

"I need you to leave." Aoba's gaze fell as he looked to the ground, I couldn't see his eyes anymore, but his voice changed.

Koujaku stood behind Aoba now, he brought a hand to his lip pulling it back to see the blood.

"Fuck you..."" Koujaku spat towards me. Aoba turned to Koujaku, and I almost thought I heard him reprimand him. Almost.

"No, fuck him," I nodded in Aoba's direction, and he looked at me with his eyes clear again. I could tell he was trying to say something, "It's obvious that's what he wants anyway. He's done with me."

"Noiz, wait I-" The rest of Aoba's words were lost to me as I stood and walked away. I couldn't hear anything except the sound of my own heart breaking. 

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Love you all and again....I'm sorry.

"This one's for your warden."

-CAS