Feeling Numb {Noiz X Aoba}

Hotel

Heyyyyyylllooooo everyone....It's been a while...hasn't it?? Yeah...Sorry about that...BUT I'M FINALLY DONE HERE YOU GO I'VE MISSED YOU ALL ENJOY.

"What's with all the black? You look like you're goin' to a funeral."

"Maybe I am."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Noiz POV

My heart throbbed in my chest as I ignored the bitter wind slapping against my bare face. Everything around me was red and burning. My hands didn't feel like my own. My feet moved me without knowing where to go. I made it to my apartment in an undetermined amount of time.

With an unsteady hand I opened my door and made my way into my kitchen. My mind was in a frenzy and my vision blurred. I reached for a glass and focused on it in my hand, I slowly began to tighten my grip. I could feel the pressure build and build until finally it shattered in my hand. Blood poured from my palm hitting the floor with a wet sound.

I felt nothing.

I reached for the next dish. I held the porcelain in my hands before throwing it against the wall. I heard glass shatter and could feel the wetness of tears falling down my cheek. I couldn't help but let out a scream. I couldn't stop. I screamed and threw plate after plate, and when I ran out of plates, I threw glasses. With every shattered plate, I could feel myself shatter right along with them.

Aoba POV

"Aoba-"

"No, it's okay, I need to be alone. Please, Koujaku. Just... leave." Try as I may I couldn't hide the pain in my voice. My heart beat was slow and it felt as thought time stopped at this exact moment to hold me in my own personal hell.

After I flash a painfully obvious fake smile, Koujaku left me with a dejected sigh.

I headed for my office, grabbed my things, and walked home. Everything felt slow, and my feet felt as though I was dragging them through mud. I made my way to the intersection where I would usually turn right to get to Noiz's flat.

Noiz overreacted, but so did I. I said things I didn't mean, things I didn't feel... I needed to see him, to tell him I was wrong. I picked up my pace and dragged my self to Noiz. He needed to know that I love him. That I need him.

But maybe he needed time.

Maybe he wouldn't want to see me. Not after what I said to him.

I'll go to him. But I'll give him time. I'll go to him tomorrow.

Noiz POV

I woke up face down on my bed. My sheets were stained red and my hands sported several sores and gashes. I stood up and pulled my sheets off my bed, and threw them in the trash. I went to the cupboard in the bathroom, knowing all too well what I was getting. I wrapped my hand in white linen cloth to stop the bleeding. I wrapped it around my fingers as well, but left the piercing on my hand visible.

Everything I did felt like I was out of my own body, simply watching myself like some sadistic omnipresent force. My heart was racing, but I couldn't tell why. I pulled out a cigarette and lit it, bringing it to my mouth. I paced around my apartment, I couldn't place what emotion I was feeling. But god was it irritating. I couldn't sit down, I couldn't lie down, I can't do anything! My heart skipped beats at random, and my hands refused to stay still.

 A burning impatience for something. I couldn't calm myself, I was anxious, and unwilling to settle down. But what was I waiting for? Why couldn't I douse the fire that was building in my chest? If Aoba was here he would tell me to calm down and breath...He would hold my face in his hands and press his forehead against mine, seeming to breath his serene breath into my lungs. He would bring his face close to mine, but hover just before my lips, too recessive to close the gap between. So I would close the space and taste him, feel him against me I would bring my hands to his-