Weak For The Geek

Chapter II: Jay

(Note: Um ma, is the informal way to say mom in Korean! I don't know if it's right, but this is what Bing gave me..)

Screams, I can hear them! They're getting louder, louder, and louder!

But, where are they coming from?

Why can't I find the source of them?

"Jun." I heard my mothers frantic voice call out.

'Um ma?' I called back letting her know I was here.

"Jun!"

"UM MA!" Popping up out of my sleep I look around my small room. I shake my head letting a soft sigh leave my lips. It's happening again. The dreams.. The screams of my parents and siblings. Even after waking up I can still hear their pain filled screams echoing throughout my head.

They died because of me, because people found out my secret, dangerous people. But, I won't let anymore lives be lost because of me. That's the least I owe to my beloved family. I raised my hung head and just realized the sun was up and now casting a warm glow of ray through my thin white curtains. I had to always remind myself when I woke up in the morning that I wasn't there anymore, they wouldn't be able to find me or hurt me here.

Pulling my covers back I got out of bed and made my way to my bathroom, clicking on the light I went straight to the sink and look right in the mirror. I still looked tired but, that could be helped with a splash of cold water to the face and a shower. I quickly brushed my teeth, then used the toilet, then finished off with a shower. After finishing in the bathroom I went back into my bedroom and pulled out a sweater and shorts, along with a pair of converse.

While getting dressed I mentally prepared myself for the day ahead of me. I always had to do this everyday before leaving this room, only because.. Opening my door after putting on my shoes a little baby boy giggling ran passed me naked with his father hot on his trail with a pare of pants yelling at him it was time for him to get dress. As you could see this house, this place I was placed to live, wasn't the least bit normal.

With my book and phone in hand, head phones already on my ears the volume on low as Troye Sivan's new album played on repeat. I carefully moved pass all the rowdy kids running and screaming up and down the hall, when I made it to the stairway not wasting time I hurried down to the first floor, stopping on the last stair I looked around the foyer and realized everything had been cleaned up and the doors had been replaced from the incident of last night.. Last night, one of the people who lived here went on a rampage, and I can only guess who because everyone passing by me couldn't stop talking about him. Teens to adults, mostly the women and older men.

"That boy is getting worse and worse as the days go on. I'm telling you, they'll have to kill him before he goes completely insane. Why doesn't the alpha just send that boy to the union?" An elderly man said to his wife as they walked passed me heading into the sitting room.

"I heard he nearly killed Olivia's dad." A teen girl gossip to her friend as they walked pass the side of the stairway, heading outside through the open front doors. I frowned after the girls. They didn't really know the person they were speaking of, they've only heard rumors. While I've actually had the chance of meeting him, accidentally kissing him, and becoming the number one hated person on his list of people and things he hated.

Shaking my head and sighing, I left off the stairway and headed toward the back door of the house to go outside, there were a few picnic tables set up back there, one of the tables sat under a big oak tree, it was my only favorite thing about living here. Sitting there under the tree and reading, even though there was a lot of noise around me I was able to tune them out and it felt like my own little paradise. Passing the kitchen I seen many women from the pack busy getting lunch ready, didn't smell like they were cooking anything so we must have been having sub sandwiches again. I couldn't wait tell the beta's wife and Joseph's mom came back from vacation. If they didn't come back soon we were going to turn into sandwiches.

As soon as I stepped on the porch the smell of lavender and strawberries surrounded me, instantly letting me know my mate was near. Mate? Yes, this house was filled with werewolves and because of my secret I got to know theirs. I knew of werewolves and their way, how they lived, and how they blended into human society. But, along with werewolves there were other unnatural creatures that walked this earth some more dangerous then others. My secret taught me that, but it also drew them near.

"Alright, group one and two, I want you to run to the forest line and back. Human form!" The most angelic voice called out with full authority. My eyes roamed around the yard looking for it and as soon as my eyes settled on the person my knees grew week, instantly making me take a seat on the steps of the back porch. He was shirtless, so it gave me the best view of his muscled back. I payed close attention to the way they flexed ever time he moved, I sighed while resting my elbow on my knee and placing my chin in my open palm.

Sadly though I'll never be able to touch those muscles or tell him how amazing he looks while training the young pack warriors, or even though people see him as a monster and dangerous. I could never look at him in that way.. Because, a mate, the person who is made for you, your better half should not look down on you because of what society deems you to be.

A small breeze blew pass me which made me frown. I looked behind me to the far off brushes near the north side of the forest line around the house. I had heard something there was no doubt about it, but.. I didn't see anything. Knitting my eyebrows together, I shook my head and decided to ignore it for now. Whatever or whoever it was didn't seem like a threat, yet.

When I turned my head back towards my mate, he was looking my way, but not at me, pass me. Staring at the tree line I was just looking at, had he just felt or heard something too? He frowned as he started to turn away but his eyes locked with mine and I froze. Mixed emotions started to rush across his face until it settle on a look of pure irritation, causing that familiar pain to settle in my chest every time he gave me that look and the action that always followed that, was him turning his back on me, making that settling feeling explode, to that unwanted feeling of rejection. Every time we crossed paths, I was rejected over and over again.

Still, I don't understand why? What could I do to make him see I wouldn't judge him like everyone else? What could I do to make him see that there is a person out there capable of loving a "monster", without being scared of what will happen to them?

Why can't Derek see I'm already deeply in love with him?