Obsessed

Myself.

Song for this chapter: Many of Horror by Biffy Clyro.

Trigger warning- please do not read if you are easily triggered.
Remember I love you random citizen!

Myself...

When trying to find myself, I got lost on the way.
I lost myself so badly that I knew I'd never be how I used to before.
When I stopped eating, I knew that it would change a lot more than my figure.

On the bad days...
They're the worst.
Those are the days where I feel so disappointed with myself.
With my choices.
With my life.
I just feel so pathetic.
I'd look at myself in the mirror and pick out all of the little things I hate about myself.
Maybe if I was thinner...prettier...maybe then people would like me.

Maybe you've learnt a bit about me. A bit about the person I've become. The monster I've become. And when I look in the mirror now...I certainly don't see the person I used to be.
Maybe I've lost myself...maybe just maybe...I'm waiting to be found.

The problem with waiting is that I'm impatient.
I get twitchy.
And nervous
My palms start to sweat.
My head starts to hurt.
I overthink.
I over feel.
This is how I know that the anxiety is upon me.

I don't mean to panic or overthink.
It's just how my brain is working.
At over a hundred miles per hour.
If there's time.
There's thoughts.

But how can you stop these thoughts?
The only way is to stop time.
And I know that there's only one way to stop your life clock.

But it's not the option I'm looking for..

A/N

Decided that I might enter into the Wattys 2016!

Vote, comment, blah, blah, blah...

Love, newts_fangirlxx

Edited- 20/06/16