Obsessed

My Note.

Song for this chapter: Impossible year by panic! At the disco.

Trigger warning- please do not read if you are easily triggered.
Remember I love you random citizen!

My note...

One thing I hate about finishing a book is the feeling of being incomplete, like a massive hole has been punched through you chest, and you don't know what to do.
What once was a whole heart now is only half.
I tried to fill in the hole, I tried to fight my inner demons.

I tried...but it was never good enough.

So I ran away. Every night in my dreams. I dreamt of a better life, a happier life.

It was just me, my imagination and my music.

But then I realised, my imaginary life was better than my normal, real, life.
So I tried to escape, run away forever and never come back.

No matter how hard I tired to escape the terrible reality it never worked, I always woke up the next day. Surrounded by white walls and blinking lights.
My family surrounding me, crying and mourning.

I've been sorry for a lot of things in my life but inflicting pain on my loved ones was one of the things I've always regretted.

Because after all the worst kind of pain is not what your inflict on yourself, it's the pain you inflict on others.

The thought of death has never bothered me before, I've always thought it was like an eternal sleep. Where I could be in my dreams forever.

Sitting here and looking back at it all I realise how bad my life had gotten. How depressed I was.
I just wanted to let go.
So that's what I did.
Let go.

Because after all, my time isn't running out, it has ran out.

I remembered all the good times we had together.
All the memories.
That's what they are now.
Just memories.
But as long as you remember, they will live on.

The memory of me.
The memory of you.
The memory of us.

But don't worry about me, my friend, I'm happy now.

Now I can finally be free.

Please don't be sad. It was better this way, for the both of us. There isn't anything to be sad about.

Because now my friend,
I am finally in the stars.

Goodbye, forever and ever.

'When you slowly lose your mind, you don't realise until it's too late.
Too late to be saved.
On the other hand, when you lose your mind quickly, it's too sudden to be saved.'