Innocent Sorrow: A Tale of Twisted Hearts Book One

Chapter Four

So close…but how did it all come to this? I was so close to you and now I am struck back! Why can’t I get closer…why can’t I save you? Why can I never save those that are the most important to me? You always saved me…even when saving me meant hurting me, you did it. Why now am I being pushed back by injury and exhaustion? My ribs ache from the blow I took, blood turns the pristine white bandages crimson and yet… I can’t stop, I must move… Please guide me to you, don’t give up on me, on yourself… I will save you even if it means my death…

~/~

As the moon hid itself behind the horizon and the sun still slept, that softly glowing hour before first light woke Feli. If it wasn’t for the tears that still clung to her lashes, the tracks stiff on her cheeks then she would be able to believe everything had been a nightmare. Instead, all she felt was the overwhelming sadness that consumed her as she thought of leaving her home. Eleven years…eleven years she had been by her mother’s side through thick and thin and now, now Feliciana may never be able to see her again. She stood slowly, her fancy clothes itchy from being slept in while her ribbon was tousled and half undone. It didn’t take her long to strip though, that was surprisingly easy considering how badly she wanted out of the clothes Hilda had dressed her in. Feli was suddenly aware of how easy it was to hate someone as a child…to carelessly toss someone aside because they wronged you once.

With the morning sun her strength returned and she knew that things, though difficult, would be okay. She would return to her beloved lands. She would see this through till the end and at that time, she would return here no matter what. Moving to her closet, she pulled out her favorite play outfits, all of them for boys but all bought for her, and lay them upon the bed. She dressed in a simple pair of grey knee length slacks, a white button up and a black vest. The rest was folded and placed within a large heavy trunk. Following the clothes she plopped in her boots and shoes, a pair of black lace ups being strapped to her legs up to the knee with black knee high socks under it. Her brushes and the few trinkets she had went in next, placed with care so they wouldn’t be damaged. As she looked at the things she packed, she wondered if she would even be allowed to keep it all. It was this uncertainty that drove her imagination to create all sorts of terrifying images.

No one had told Feli what the Treaty wanted from her or what the current King would do to her. Locking the trunk, she sat on the edge of her bed before sinking backwards into its inviting softness, her eyes slipping closed again. She didn’t sleep though; no…something kept her from that blissful darkness. As the sun slowly crested the horizon, warming her room and she stood once more. Going back to the vanity where she lifted up the silver bell she had once used to call Hilda so many times before. It rang three times as with shaking hands she rung it and waited. She didn’t know whether to pray that Hilda came or to pray that she didn’t but when the door opened, Feli turned quickly only to meet the saddened eyes of Marissa. “The Queen asked me to carry your bags down when you rung, Miss...” Feli flinched at the title. “Marissa…please, don’t do that…call me Feliks…or Feli just don’t shut me out. Please…” She knew her plea sounded pitiful and desperate but she couldn’t stand the feeling of a line being drawn. “Feliks…. You were like my little brother and now it turns out you’re the princess and you are being sent away!” Her arms were shaking as she held Feliciana. It broke her heart to hear the kitchen Maid’s sorrow filled words but she managed to hold back her tears and hug the elder woman back. “I love you Feliciana, Feliks, Feli. You will always be like my own little sibling. When you come back I’ll make you your favorite fruit pie so you had better come back, ye hear?” Her accent, from the southern portions of Beldan, became thicker with tears which she brushed away and kissed Feli on the head. When she was done, Marissa released the princess and lifted one handle of the trunk. It was heavy and cumbersome but she managed, casting a small smile to the boy turned girl before disappearing. Feli couldn’t help the sense of grief that filled her. It was as though somewhere in the back of her mind she thought she would never return…